Last night, I really wanted to have sex with my boyfriend, but we couldn’t. So when I went home, I took care of it myself. Then I had a dream where basically my best friend, who is a lesbian, and I were in a relationship. It reminded me of the relationship with my boyfriend now, where play fights end in kissing, and the sex was amazing. At one point in the dream, she jumps on top of me with a strap-on and we have sex again. What does this mean?
What does it mean? It means you had a pleasurable sex dream! That’s all. You were highly aroused when you were with your boyfriend and you carried that arousal through to your masturbation, where it sounds like you masturbated at least to the point of even more arousal and maybe to the point of orgasm.
Then, that night, you had a sex dream involving “amazing sex”! I imagine there are two parts of the dream that might feel confusing to you. One is that the dream involved your best friend (someone who is not your boyfriend). In that regard, some research involving people in romantic relationships shows that the vast majority of women and men sometimes fantasize about other people. It’s extremely common.
The second part of your dream that might confuse you is that your best friend is a woman (and a lesbian) and you are in a romantic relationship with a man. You might be wondering if you’re into women; many people who have sex dreams like this write to us with similar questions. Well, I can’t tell you what your sexual orientation is or what genders of people you’re attracted to now or may find yourself attracted to in the future.
However, I can tell you that it’s common for people to have sex dreams about both same-sex and other-sex people. It’s also common for people to have sex dreams about people they’d never, in real life, want to have sex with (e.g. good friends, co-workers, frenemies, acquaintances, even family members!). Then again, sometimes people’s dreams help them think in new ways about their lives and sexuality and the possibilities available to them.
If this dream has you thinking about your best friend, women or strap-ons in different ways, that’s fine too. Life has many interesting paths in it and it’s for you to figure out which ones you want to explore.
Kinsey Confidential is a collaboration of the IU School of Public Health and The Kinsey Institute. Dr. Debby Herbenick is an associate professor at Indiana University and author of six books about sex including “The Coregasm Workout” and “Sex Made Easy.” Visit us at kinseyconfidential.org & follow us on Twitter at @DebbyHerbenick and @KinseyCon.
