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I am a 24-year-old attractive female. I have never had sex or even come close. I would like to. I am nervous that when I do have sex I will not know what I’m doing. Should I “practice” with someone or even pay someone to “practice”?
Although it may seem like pretty much everyone has had sex or is having lots of sex, it’s not the case.
Most people have engaged in sexual activities by their mid-20s but not all have.
Our U.S. national survey data clearly show that some people wait to have sex until they are in love, until they marry or else they may have simply not felt particularly turned on or into someone.
Some people want to engage in sexual activities but feel like their shyness gets in the way.
You seem to be pretty concerned about your “performance” — essentially, whether when you do try to have sex, you will look skilled or silly.
Guess what? That’s a common concern!
And it’s not just common for the very first time someone has sex, but can be something people think about when having sex with a new partner for the first or second (or 10th) time.
Even people with long-term partners don’t always feel confident in their sexual skills.
Paying for sex is not legal most places in the U.S. but is legal in some particular places and is one option, if that is really what you want to do.
Another option is to meet with a sex therapist (find one throughaasect.org or sstarnet.org) who can talk with you about your worries and your concerns as well as about the kinds of experiences you’ve had and how you might put some of your nerves aside and create the kind of romantic, intimate and/or sexual connection with another person that maybe you want.
Books like “Sex Made Easy,” “Come As You Are” and “Becoming Orgasmic” might also help you explore your own sexuality and develop greater confidence.
Which sperm cell fertilizes the egg when you have sex a few days before ovulation and which one fertilizes it during ovulation?
If you are referring to sperm with X or Y chromosomes, either one can fertilize an egg at any time there is an egg available to fertilize.
That’s why no one knows whether they will be creating a female or a male fetus — it’s up to chance!
Debby Herbenick, Ph.D., is an associate professor at Indiana University’s School of Public Health and a Research Fellow and sexual health educator at the Kinsey Institute. She’s the author of six books about sex; her newest is “The Coregasm Workout.” Follow Kinsey Confidential on Twitter @KinseyCon & visit us online at www.KinseyConfidential.org
