During Tuesday night’s Men Against Sexual Assault and Rape event, self-proclaimed “Dating Doctor” David Coleman encouraged audience members to make the first move.
After seeing Coleman speak previously, MARS director Bill Phan, Sigma Alpha Mu member Brian Singer and Interfraternity Council Vice President of Membership Development Jesse Scheinman invited Coleman to present during Sexual Assault Awareness Month.
“A lot of the issues that happen are because people don’t know how to have a healthy relationship,” Phan said. “If we’re able to provide the knowledge on that, then it’s a cause and effect situation. If we’re able to stop the cause and help people, then it’s more of a preventive measure than reactionary.”
Before his program began, Coleman looked out at the audience and made one simple request.
“If you know someone who’s unlucky in love, dating the wrong person or who hasn’t been on a date since Moby Dick was a guppy — text them and tell them to come,” Coleman said. “You’ll thank me tomorrow.”
Coleman’s lecture on healthy relationships, break-ups and hook-ups has made him the first public speaker to earn the Entertainer of the Year award by Campus Activities Magazine.
His fun, interactive and engaging style made Coleman the perfect fit for the MARS event, Scheinman said.
“Ladies, please stand if you’ve ever used your phone to get out of talking with a guy,” Coleman said.
Laughter erupted as half the room stood.
Coleman outlined how to determine if someone is worth pursuing within five minutes with the ABCs of initial interest: Attraction, Believability, Chemistry and Desire.
Coleman told audience members to be vocal and participate whenever they had a question about love, relationships and sex.
“Just say, ‘David, I need some advice,’” Coleman said.
Audience members asked what to do if they and a friend have the same love interest and if it’s ever smart to get back together with an ex.
Coleman had easy steps and acronyms to answer every question.
For break-ups, Coleman suggested following the D.A.T.E. guidelines: distance, activity, time and exit on your own terms.
Coleman had another eight steps to tell if you’re being hit on and clues to look out for cheating partners.
Coleman also helped foster conversations about a culture of consent as he pointed out Sexual Assault Crisis representatives in the audience.
“When you hear all these negatives sometimes you don’t want to talk because you feel like you’re going to be wrong,” Phan said. “But if you’re talking positively and you’re making people feel like they’re safe and comfortable, then it’s a lot easier to talk.”
After the initial 90-minute Dating Doctor lecture for both men and women, Coleman had a separate session for greek men called Generating Gentlemen.
“Having David Coleman run this event will have a lot of people realize that being a gentlemen is not just pulling a seat out for a lady or opening a door for a lady, but it’s much more than that,” Phan said.
Above all else, Coleman said he wanted audience members to leave with a positive self-image. Instead of looking for a partner to complete them, students should look for someone to complement them, Coleman said. Before they could be successful in doing so, though, they needed to complete themselves.
“I want you to look in the mirror and say ‘I would so date me,’” Coleman said.
