Brothers and sisters, it saddens me to announce that Jan. 25, 2015, we lost a dear friend, confidant and cultural icon here in Bloomington.
Yes, I am talking about the Village Deli.
The dreary Sunday afternoon only grew drearier the moment when a fire broke out in the kitchen of the Village Deli, quickly engulfing the back half of the restaurant.
Many a hungover college student stood, staring with forlorn expressions as firefighters and police circled their carbohydrate-rich restaurant of choice.
A few poor souls even continued to approach the restaurant, convinced it was still open, only to be turned away.
To be honest, the Village Deli has been an icon on Kirkwood Avenue for years, serving as the cure for the crazy antics at Kilroy’s or Dunkirk just up the street.
Indeed, oversized pancakes, fluffy scrambled eggs and home fries have never remedied so many regrets and quelled so much confusion from the night ?before.
For those who do not wish to punish themselves with the plight that is Denny’s, the Village Deli has been a home away from home.
From large slices of ?coffee cake, along with ?coffee strong enough to burn a hole through the table, to pancakes that require enough syrup to drown a small army, the Village Deli has been there to wake you up in the ?morning.
Bloomington lost a cultural icon Sunday. A popular hangout where students of all races, ethnicities, sexual orientations and blood alcohol contents could live together in harmony, the Village Deli has served as a place of peace, relaxation and recovery for many.
Though we lost our sister-in-arms, we must not tremble in fear.
We must push onward, to the neighboring Runcible Spoon or the Scholars Inn Bakehouse.
We must not give in to the temptation of Denny’s, otherwise known as the worst plague to hit breakfast tables since that one time you accidentally drank spoiled milk.
I ask my fellow Hoosiers to remain calm in this time of darkness.
We, as a people, must stand strongly against temptation, against fear and against uncertainty.
Until the Village Deli returns, we must remain loyal to locally owned, delicious breakfast restaurants.
Only then can our urges be honestly fulfilled.
The Village Deli leaves behind approximately 42,000 students and thousands of townies in need of sustenance on Saturday and Sunday mornings.
Those restaurants interested in adopting these poor, neglected Hoosiers need only open their doors.
Flowers, donations and prayer cards may be left in front of the Village Deli in memorial of a long life of serving Hoosiers.
The viewing ceremony will be held next Saturday, when an inevitable train of cars slowly drives past the Village Deli, their ?occupants having forgotten it is closed.
I, for one, am overly excited for the grand ?reopening of the Village Deli.
Until then, you can find me patiently sipping coffee and peering at the ?reconstruction from the balcony of the Runcible Spoon.
After all, Village Deli 2.0 will be even better than it already was, if that’s even possible.