You know the statistic: one in five women are raped or are the victims of attempted rape while in college.
But it’s still just a number. It can’t tell you what it’s like to be the one in five.
But Emma Sulkowicz can.
Sulkowicz said she was raped the first day of her sophomore year at ?Columbia University in New York City.
She filed a complaint with the university, but her case was dismissed.
Two years later, her alleged rapist is still on campus, and Sulkowicz, a visual arts major, has just started her senior thesis. It is a performance piece tentatively called either “Mattress Performance” or “Carry that Weight.”
The piece is simple: Sulkowicz will carry around a twin mattress until she no longer attends the same school as her rapist. She is not allowed to ask for help carrying the mattress but can ?accept help if offered.
It’s a compelling visual approximation of what being a college sexual ?assault survivor is like.
When describing the aftermath of her own sexual assault in an interview with the Columbia Spectator, Sulkowicz said, “I feel like I’ve carried the weight of what happened there with me everywhere since then.”
It’s a common feeling.
Sexual assault survivors are much more likely to suffer from mental health problems such as depression or post-traumatic stress disorder.
Survivors are also 26 times more likely to use drugs and four times more likely to be suicidal, according to the Rape, Abuse and Incest National ?Network.
Beds are one of our most intimate spaces, but during her sexual assault investigation, Sulkowicz found herself repeatedly “telling people what happened in that most intimate and private space and bringing it out into the light.”
Rape or sexual assault isn’t just one night — it’s hundreds of nights, shared over and over with friends, family, police, lawyers, academic misconduct panels, administrators, judges.
And even after baring all, you feel isolated.
One of the most poignant aspects of Sulkowicz’s piece is that she cannot ask for help, but she can accept it.
Sexual assault is a burden on all, but we make survivors carry the heaviest load.
IU is famous for its Culture of Care initiative, which encourages community members to listen and to support each other, to step in when help is needed.
It is directly opposed rape culture, which claimes men can’t control their urges, that laughs at jokes about rape victims, that wonders if maybe she was asking for it, that has allowed 1 in 5 women to be victimized.
Every person that helps Sulkowicz carry her mattress is another person who defies rape culture in favor of a culture of care.
With support, it’s not so difficult to carry after all.
The IU administration’s approach to sexual assault has improved substantially, but administrative changes alone won’t change the campus culture.
It’s up to the rest of us to carry that weight.
