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Saturday, March 2
The Indiana Daily Student

People don't change

Relationships are a ?major focus for college-aged people.

It’s the next big ?commitment in our lives. And they’re one of the toughest things to get right.

Want to know why your relationship isn’t working? Why you can’t seem to find someone nice? Why they just don’t love you back?

It’s because people don’t change.

Human beings have not advanced emotionally. ?Every Top-40 song about a breakup, every soliloquy in Shakespeare, every ancient Greek tragedy, they’re all the same. We’ve been dealing with the same problems for thousands of years.

We created a wealthy, prosperous nation with great human rights. We put a man on the moon. But our divorce rate is still more than 50 ?percent.

Making someone else a part of your life is tough. If you aren’t honest with each other about what you want from the beginning, you’re going to have problems down the road.

And sometimes, ?relationships just don’t work out.

You wanted different things or you weren’t as compatible as you thought or whatever. So you find the problem, work to fix it and try again.

Except that is the hardest thing in the world.

True change is hard to ?accomplish. It’s scary. You get set in your ways, and they become a constant in your life.

To change the way you act is essentially removing yourself from the reality you know. That’s a big leap of faith. A lot of people can’t do it.

So we stick ourselves in these eternal loops, and we tie our self-worth to our ?success with people. We think that if we only tried a little harder, we could fix ?relationships, and we could be happy.

We pursue the same ?person or the same type of people. Each time, we tell ?ourselves it will work out, it will be different.

But it’s just the same thing again and again.

You can’t force someone to become what you want. It doesn’t mean you’re bad at relationships or a bad ?person.

If you can assume ?other people aren’t going to change, and you don’t try to change, how is anything ?different going to happen?

If you’re stuck with a ?relationship problem, ask yourself if you’ve really tried anything different.

Since you can’t change people, try to change your situation.

Try to let go, move ?forward and seek ?improvement in your own life.

Because if you don’t, you’ll be stuck in that loop forever.

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