Being more 'unselfconscious'

Every time I go on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram, I’m reminded we live in a time where we think everyone wants to look at pictures of ourselves. All the time.

I had the amazing opportunity to see Meryl Streep receive an honorary doctorate Wednesday at the IU Auditorium. Other than the fact that Meryl is perfect in every way — and yes, we’re on first-name basis now — the biggest thing I took away from her talk was when she spoke of being “unselfconscious.”

Streep will appear in the upcoming movie “Suffragette” portraying Emmeline Pankhurst, a real-life figure in Britain’s women’s suffrage movement. There is only one video that exists of this woman, because that’s how rare that sort of media was at the time. She was unaware of how her movements looked or how she appeared to other people because she didn’t really need to be. Unlike us, Pankhurst was not used to her “outer performance.”

This is one of the major issues with constantly taking selfies. We’re so focused and legitimately concerned about how we’re perceived on Facebook or Instagram that it’s actually affecting us.

I’m part of the social media generation, and I’ve looked at way too many pictures of myself. I’ve also learned the eating and showering habits of way too many people. Yet I’ve also heard the argument that selfies, social media and technology are ruining the world. And I think it’s an exaggeration. Sure, teenagers have always been narcissistic. Now they just have a better way of expressing it.

However, there is a major difference between Emmeline Pankhurst’s generation and ours.

Rather than being consumed by trying to find their best angle, they used their time to do other things. Like, you know, political activism.  Instead, we’re preoccupied with the selfie you take alone in your bedroom, where you can try dozens of different angles until you find the “Just woke up! #nomakeup” picture to post.

The obsession with appearances is a problem for everyone in the age of oversharing, but it also has other consquences.

Often it becomes a bigger problem for young girls, who already are taught a very specific standard and expectation for beauty. That’s where girls’ obsession with the “best angle” comes from, how girls learn to take the picture from above to eliminate a double chin or how to tilt their heads to make their cheeks look thinner.

There is something sad in the fact that we’ve all lost a sense of “unselfconsciousness.” That we’ve had to look at way too many pictures of ourselves so we do know about bad angles, bad lighting, bad poses. For young people especially, it’s just another way to feel self-conscious. As we get older, it’s just another way to hold onto our obsession with ourselves.

I want to go back to a time when we didn’t know or care what we looked like to other people. I wish that we could give up selfies and constant documentation for this kind of peace.

I wonder what we would look like if we knew no one was watching. Or Instagramming.

cjellert@indiana.edu
@cjellert