A Semester in Review

Ourselves
Opinion columnists are notorious narcissists, so of course we wrote about selfies a lot this past semester. We are a testament to the “Me, Me, Me Generation” Time Magazine keeps harping on about. We might be Kanye. Hey, if we don’t love ourselves, who will?

Sex
Of course it’s necessary to carry on the human race, but our sextion — excuse me, section — has interests that go far beyond utilitarian concerns. Hoosiers aren’t having safe sex. We aren’t sex educated. We still cling to double standards, but despite these setbacks, the Editorial Board is still enamored with sex. Because college.

Responsible Drinking
The Lifeline Law, the reduced number of handles at frat parties and the frank discussion of IU drinking culture has encouraged all of us to reconsider how we can drink safely. Unsurprisingly, most of our recommendations have something to do with reducing the drinking age and changing the way Excise Police punish students.

Marriage Bus
‘Til death do us part takes on a whole new meaning when your wedding happens in a motor vehicle (Were we the only ones who read Ralph Naders’ “Unsafe at any Speed?”). Indianapolis’ Marriage Bus gave us hope that love is real and so are the people who would get married on a bus. Both are comforting sentiments.

Glenda Ritz
Much of our love for this woman likely stems from feelings of nostalgia for the land of Oz, but Glenda the Good Ritz also won our hearts with her commitment to Indiana education in the face of a wholly uncooperative governor. One thing’s for sure, it will take some kind of wizardry to end the feud between Gov. Mike Pence and Ritz.

Food Trucks
We’re amazed that Bloomington would go the way of San Francisco and New York City in offering victuals out of moving vehicles — it’s the only chance we get to take food from strangers in vans, and boy is it a delicious risk to take. Whether it’s pizza or gyros or grilled cheese, our mouths have been blessed, if not our waistlines.

Indy Revitalization
Indianapolis is our capital city, and 20 or so years ago it wasn’t much to be proud of. One Super Bowl and a smattering of revitalization projects later, Indy is turning into an actual place. A place with groundbreaking plans to reduce poverty, expand public transportation and improve community through schools. Oh no, we think our Hoosier pride is showing.

The Greek System
Sometimes we love it. Sometimes we hate it. These emotions tend to correlate with whether we’re willing to flash our tits for sustenance. One thing’s for sure, we recognize the greeks’ leadership role on campus. When they use their power to make parties safer, we love them for it. But if they allow their power to push others down, we’ll take them to task.

Mental Health Care
Hoosier mental health care is dreadful. We wait too long to offer too few resources to people who have been socialized to think the mentally ill are weak and that  counseling is a farce. Making mental health resources available earlier for little to no cost would help reduce the stigma surrounding mental health services and actually helping people.

Advising
Going to your appointment is a drag. Making small talk with your adviser is a drag. Scheduling classes is a drag. That, combined with the problems inherent in our advising system cause us to keep our advisers at arm’s length. The problems make us forget the benefits like graduating on time, finding and getting credit for internships and getting jobs.

Swedish King’s Hats
We didn’t actually write anything about these, but they are delightful. Too bad they were a hoax. That the Swedish King’s hats were actually photoshopped served as a chilling reminder to us all that the best things in life can be stolen away from you in an instant. The hats will always be real in our hearts.

Homelessness and Poverty
If you are in favor of either of these things, put down this publication right now because we don’t want to be associated with the likes of you. As Indianapolis cracks down on panhandlers and the federal government reduces food stamp funding, we’re nervous that compassion is being sacrificed for beautification and partisan point-making.

Lack of Safety on Campus
We don’t feel safe. When we walk home alone across campus, when we receive a series of slightly confusing IU Notify alerts, when we try to cross 10th Street. IU does much to make us feel safe, but it hasn’t been enough. Students still get hurt. We see it reported in this paper every day. Obviously, complete safety is impossible, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try.

IUSA
We feel especially strong about the IUSA platform that we have lovingly dubbed “Applebees in the Union.” We don’t need a Union Pub. This is not Britain. Stop trying to make “fetch” happen. Oh, and maybe do more of the good stuff, like Culture of Care and tackling IU drinking culture.

Internships
Pay interns. Or we will sue you. We might win. If we don’t, you’ll have wasted time and money trying to explain why you don’t give young people money despite the fact they are, you know, working. Internships are a great opportunity to gain experience, but not great enough to warrant not eating for a few months.

Waffle House Closing
Waffle House was a place for memories. But we don’t have to tell you that. You’ve read Jessica Contrera’s story on the place. The Editorial Board was touched by this restaurant, too, and it breaks our hearts to see it torn down. Now where are we supposed to get sausage wrapped in pancakes drenched in syrup? Wherever it is, it won’t hold a candle to Waffle House.

Guns
Except our brave conservative columnist Edgar Haro, we don’t really like guns. And by “don’t really like,” I mean we loathe and abhor them. If no one had guns, maybe we’d kill each other with Brazillian ju jitsu instead, but that takes a lot more work, and you’d have to suffer the chiding that you’re studying “BJJ” or “Blow Job Jobs,” which is a real disincentive.