Straight gay fetish

Fetishizing homosexuality is not the same as supporting it.

It’s a very odd, somewhat fine line that I don’t think many people think about or realize exists.

Supporting gay rights means actively working to improve the conditions of the oppressed and/or spreading awareness of the problem.

Talking about how you find gay porn attractive is you admitting to a kink, or a fetish.
Equating that kink with gay rights means you are winnowing gay men and women down to sex and sex only. They are still not equal people.

It’s a disturbing trend I’m beginning to see crop up online and in
conversation.

A Facebook page I follow recently posted a list of actors who are gay. The comments on it — granted, some were just your average homophobia — were mostly from young women.

They said things like, “My ovaries just exploded,” and “That’s so hot.”

That’s not the same as support.

That’s exactly the same as your average sexist old man daring two Playboy bunnies to kiss in the pool.

Gay people are not entertainment. As Tina Fey said in “Bossypants” — in one of my favorite passages — yes, they can be attractive, but they are, at the end of the day, people.

The problem I have is most people are unaware of the difference between fetishizing and supporting.

Those same girls — and guys, since I want to be fair — who think that because Zachary Quinto is gay he is so much more attractive, also, I assume, believe he has every right to marry a man.

Yet, I cannot condone a conversation wondering about the specifics of his sex life. His sexuality is not a plaything.

It’s not there for you to get your giggles from. It is as equally private as any other actor’s, gay or straight.

It’s an interesting dichotomy between seeing people as people and seeing people as
entertainment.

Plus, it’s all tangled up in gay rights debates and activism. People can’t recognize what is appropriate and what isn’t.

Sex will always be interesting, but when it begins to take over, and you start to cross lines, something has to stop.

That something should probably be you.

­— ewenning@indiana.edu
Follow columnist Emma Wenninger on Twitter @EmmaWenninger.