Indiana Senate’s timeout for switchblades

While many of our readers are undoubtedly thinking that “James Dean’s retractable knife” is perhaps the worst euphemism ever used, people in their ’60s and film connoisseurs remember the actor popularizing switchblades in “Rebel Without a Cause.”

For those wholly unaware, a switchblade is a small knife with a spring-loaded blade that extends with the press of a button, and, until recently, as illegal as hell.

1950s films are in large part responsible for glamorizing switchblades and inspiring an entire generation to think of such knives as a natural accessory for a leather jacket, and ultimately the laws banning them.

Yet, no matter how dangerous they could be, they are also fundamentally awesome and factor heavily in the question we ask ourselves daily.

How can we be more like James Dean in all things?

Indiana senators have clearly been asking themselves the same question.

Last week, Indiana lawmakers voted unanimously to legalize the manufacturing and possession of switchblades.

This new law, unfortunately not named the “You Can’t Kill Me While Looking Me In The Eyes, You Coward” proposal, overturns about 50 years of legislation heavily banning the knife.

We’re also for lifting the ban on these weapons. It’s not as if there aren’t plenty of valid reasons.

Switchblades are incredibly useful for certain professionals like EMTs, and this law effectively frees them from any legal hassles should they forget they are carrying such a knife once they leave their work shift.

Additionally, several disability rights groups have successfully argued that switchblades are an accessibility tool for people who would be unable to open and close a conventional knife.

Making switchblades wholly legal means that arthritis sufferers and other people with impeded movement but who did not qualify for the previous switchblade exemption can now use them with impunity.

Yet, with all the very good reasons to formally legalize switchblades, we still find it hard to express anything other than resounding indifference.
 
It’s not as if being mugged by someone wielding a switchblade is any more dangerous than being mugged by a boring old legal knife.

Frankly, unless someone goes on a knifing spree, it’ll be hard to see switchblades as anything other than cool knives.

The biggest impact of this legislation might be a slight uptick in accidents involving drunken hipsters accidentally maiming themselves while showing off.

We are bothered by the time Indiana lawmakers spent with this as it is time not spent addressing anything more important.

Thanks Indiana Senate, but we were really hoping maybe you could weigh in on employment, budget, education, transportation or something meaningful.

We’d love to see some serious legislation soon, and if negotiations break down, the majority and minority leaders can now draw switchblades and settle it James Dean style. We’d vote for the survivors.