Bite Me: B-town Burgers

Weekend presents an overview of the best burger joints in town, from greasy to gourmet.

Bub’s Burgers & Ice Cream
Bloomington’s gluttons feel at home at Bub’s Burgers & Ice Cream on Morton Street.

Bub’s is known for its “Big Ugly,” a massive one-pound burger challenge. Champions of the “Big Ugly” meal earn their picture on the restaurant’s walls. In June, Indonesian visitor Stephen Sulimro achieved the legendary task of eating four “Big Uglys.” His performance earned him a poster-sized print.

Customers who can’t quite muster the “Big Ugly” may also order the “Not So Ugly” half-pounder or the “Settle for Less Ugly” quarter-pounder. All of these burgers are available with ground chuck or ground elk.

As if the monstrous burgers weren’t enough, Bub’s offers chicken sandwiches, mahi mahi burgers, Bub Dogs, milkshakes, chili, waffle fries, wings, pie a la mode and an extensive collection of beers.

Though the gastronomical challenge of Bub’s attracts customers with its large portions, it also wows with quality. Bub’s chooses bread from local bakeries and uses only the freshest ingredients possible.

In short, Bub’s takes a classic menu and makes it masterful.

Chomp
In a town teeming with local foodie treasures, it’s no wonder some places are overlooked. In the end, we’re the ones missing out.

Chomp, a newcomer to the Bloomington burger scene, can no longer be ignored. It’s heating up the competition and with good reason. Located at 208 S. Dunn St., just off Fourth Street, Chomp has made a name for itself since its April opening.

Affordable, properly portioned and well-seasoned, the burgers at Chomp are the ideal dinner for any hungry Hoosier. Priced from $5.45 to $7.75, Chomp showcases a selection of 15 antibiotic and hormone-free burgers.

And the variety doesn’t stop there. This restaurant also boasts more than 50 additional toppings for your burger. If that isn’t enough variety for you, you don’t deserve Chomp.

Chris Hoenke, Chomp’s house manager, said the Cream and Crimson burger is the most popular. Topped with garlic, parmesan, sautéed red peppers, chipotle mayo and mozzarella, this nod to Bloomington is sure to satisfy.

Try it out on a Tuesday, when Chomp offers $2 draft beers all day. It’s sure to become your new $2 Tuesday.

Hinkle's Hamburgers
Townie favorite Hinkle’s Hamburgers is Bloomington’s best hole in the wall. It’s hard to imagine much has changed since it opened in 1930.

You order the moment you walk in the door, chat with the sassy cashiers, take your receipt and watch your burger move from grill to brown paper bag. It’s rough around the edges, the real deal. Hinkle’s is about more than the experience, though. It’s about good old-fashioned hamburgers.

If you’re looking for gourmet burgers, you better look elsewhere.

The Bloomington institution’s decidedly unflashy motto is, “We grind our meat fresh daily.” Hinkle’s knows what it is. The meat is ground and pattied in-store before your eyes. Onions are cooked right in the patty. If you ask them to hold the onions, you’ll get a funny look.

Imagine what White Castle’s thin and onion-rich patties were meant to taste like.

The burgers are served hot and greasy. The fries are basic, but the homemade milkshakes and fountain drinks are delicious.

A little pricier than you’d expect given its appearance, Hinkle’s pays back with local color and some of the most savory hand-pattied burgers in town.

Laughing Planet Cafe
The Laughing Planet Café makes a mean, green, veggie burger.

The off-Kirkwood restaurant is mostly known for its organic burritos and quesadillas. It shares a deck, and fanbase, with Soma Coffeehouse. While it is less widely ordered, the homemade veggie patty is not to be dismissed.

Fully vegan, the veggie burger is made of rice, lentils, oats, carrots and black beans. Laughing Planet serves only locally grown vegetables, attracting the kind of people who like to know where their food comes from.

Junior Eric Tidwell, Laughing Planet employee, said the Classic Veggie Burger is made freshly in-house, with love. Instead of fries, the burgers come with corn chips and your choice of hot, medium (verde) or mild salsa. “We don’t have any fried food on the menu,” Tidwell said.

There are three choices if you’re going the veggie burger route: the Classic, which I enjoyed; the Bubba Burger, featuring BBQ sauce and melted jack cheese; and the Mushroom Cheese Burger, which is self-explanatory. Ranging from $5.89 to $7.30, the burgers are not as affordable as your Micky D’s single, but the benefits the veggie burger provides to your body and local farmers justify the cost.

Opie Taylor's
Small and cozy and right off the Square, Opie Taylor’s has been serving some of B-Town’s best eats since 1984.

With a bar-like atmosphere, Opie’s is known for their burgers, which come in more than 30 different combinations. If you’re really in the mood to eat or love to pretend you’re on Man vs. Food, try the Double Tank burger, a gargantuan task for any taker.

With two one-pound beef patties and a topping of bacon, sautéed mushrooms and “everything else we can find,” this burger is easily one of the tastiest and most fattening things you can find in Bloomington.

If you’re not up for the challenge, try one of Opie’s fantastic other varieties, such as the Tom Crean and Crimson, with mozzarella cheese and buffalo sauce, or the Kevin Wilson Experience, topped with Thousand Island dressing, lettuce and tomato.

Grab a side of Cajun-spiced buffalo fries with your meal or start out with Opie’s famous mozzarella sticks, which are truly legendary. If you’re 21 or older, wash everything down with a Big Lebrewski, a 36 oz. mug of beer. On Thursday nights, it goes for only $3.

Scholars Inn Bakehouse
Burgers at the Scholars Inn Bakehouse are a must for every hungry intellectual.

They’re reasonably priced, made to order, as in not sitting frozen on a counter, and delicious, albeit a bit small. There are eight different options ranging from $6.19 to $7.99, and each comes with your choice of side: coleslaw, grapes, chips or pretzels. Salads, soups and Scholars fries, a mix of regular and sweet potato, are available extras.

Though front of house manager Donna Fletcher said the bacon cheddar is the most popular burger, the Scholars burger is the one with special Scholars sauce. Scholars sauce is a deliciously tangy complement to the burger, similar to Thousand Island dressing. It’s definitely a subtle flavor and sometimes hard to taste once ketchup has been added.

Fletcher’s personal favorite is the Blues burger, which comes with bleu cheese dressing. She also recommends the Scholars fries and Scholars’ signature granola. Go for both, because as tasty as it is, the burger leaves you wanting more.

Don’t want to spend the money? Scholars Inn Bakehouse has $3 burgers every Wednesday, and the fries are only $1.50 more.