Biased Booze

Here's Weekend's guide on what to drink for every party and every voter.

Mitt Romney
The Water*
Water
* ice cubes optional

And for the rest of the GOP...
The Rafalca*
Bombay Sapphire gin
Q-tonic water
Wedge of lime
* serve in diamond highball glass

Marxist
The People’s Drink*
Whiskey double
Chase with 40 oz. King Cobra malt liquor
* Ice cubes optional for teeth-grinding

Libertarian
The You-Call-It*
Whatever you want
* optional

Moderate
The American Dream
Busch Light 24-pack

Tea Party
Long Island Iced Tea
1 part vodka
1 part tequila
1 part rum
1 part gin
1 part triple sec
1 1/2 parts sweet and sour mix
1 splash holy water

Barack Obama
The 47 percent*
94-proof Karkov vodka
* chase with Faygo Twist
or...
Six-pack of your favorite microbrew’s IPA