How your favorite book describes you

A book can describe you better than you might be able to describe yourself.
Here’s the sarcastic yet totally truthful gist.

Your favorite book is “Catcher in the Rye” by J.D. Salinger?
You’re a freshman English major who’s trying to sound like you’ve read the classics when, actually, your favorite book is “Twilight.”

“Twilight” by Stephenie Meyer?
You enjoy vampires and perhaps haven’t read any book of substance, or you’d obviously have a different favorite book. Hey, at least you read.

“To Kill A Mockingbird” by Harper Lee?
You attended high school and understand metaphors. Congratulations.
 
You love the Harry Potter books, all of them, after all these years?
You spent your childhood waiting for a letter that never came. You understand extreme disappointment and possess an eternally pessimistic outlook on life.

Any Nicholas Sparks or Jodi Picoult novel?
You like to cry, and though you know exactly what’s going to happen because you’ve seen the movie or your grandma spoiled the ending, the tears still come.

Love “The Hunger Games?”
You obviously have no faith in government and like to wear your hair in braids. You have an archery set hidden away in the back of your closet in case the government falls after an angry rebellion.

“On the Road” by Jack Kerouac?
You’re either a “Twilight” fan and read the book in anticipation for Kristen Stewart’s new movie or you’re a hipster who’s attempting to bring back the Beat Generation. It’s not going to work.

You love “A Song of Ice and Fire,” more commonly known as, “Game of Thrones?”
You haven’t seen daylight in years.

“The Bell Jar” by Sylvia Plath?
You should stay away from ovens.

“Pride and Prejudice” by Jane Austen?
You’ve read the book. You’ve seen the movies. You obviously love the original miniseries with Colin Firth so much more than the Keira Knightley movie in which they completely ruined the storyline, and you’re still waiting for your Mr. Darcy. You’re going to be waiting a long time.

“The Lord of the Rings” series?
You’re extremely long-winded and appreciate the importance of a good piece of jewelry.

“Atlas Shrugged” by Ayn Rand?
You’re voting Republican. And you have a lot of extra time.

“Fifty Shades of Grey” makes your heart sing?
You hate literature unless it gives you instant gratification.

­— crshelle@indiana.edu