Dog day campaigning and media sensationalism

Historians in the future will, I think, date the beginning of the 2012 Presidential election campaign from the bitter but inconclusive Obama-Romney dog feud.

Dogs on top of cars, dogs for dinner. What issue could be more pressing?  

For a few days there, it seemed likely that some Congressional Democrat or other might issue a press release condemning the Republican War on Dogs.

A disinterested observer might note the utter lack of substance in the news coverage of this so-called controversy.

But then, substantive debate is not, thankfully, a constitutional requirement in a national election in the United States.

Since the majority of the American press has given up on reporting international news and no one can bear to even look at all 59 points of Mitt Romney’s economic plan, we stand a fair chance of having an entertaining summer campaign. 

Only the New York Times is trying to swim against the current, with public editor Arthur Brisbane calling for a “hard-nosed, unbiased” answer to the question “Who is Barack Obama?”

With any luck, the Times will answer that question in a matter of days and then return to the entertaining sensationalism.

So, what other meaningless trivialities can we expect throughout the next few months?

First, I fully expect to be an expert on the Church of Jesus Christ Latter-day Saints by September.

Lacking any actual political scandals, the next best thing for sensationalistic headlines is printing the words “polygamy” and “Mitt Romney” in the same settence.

Staying with television for a moment, I hope that CNN can harness the technological savvy that brought us the Magic Wall to find a way to visually express just how rich Romney is. 

Graphs and charts probably will not be enough. There may be a full-time correspondent position created specifically to handle stories related to the obscenely wealthy, super-rich multi-millionaire Romney family.

If the new hire is particularly clever, there are probably dozens of potential puns linking Bain Capital with the villain of “The Dark Knight Rises.”

If Romney’s poll numbers among conservatives remain weak, particularly in states such as Ohio and Pennsylvania, the campaign consultants may arrange for a trip to the duck blind in the Autumn. As all political consultants know, anyone in a camouflage jacket must be a real conservative.

That particular photo-op will at least be easy for a self-proclaimed “lifelong hunter” such as the ultra-rich Romney. I will be surprised if this elicits anything but wry smiles from actual outdoorsmen.

At least it will give Willard a chance to get off his private jet and get some fresh air among the 99%.

­— jzsoldos@indiana.edu