Steampunk-sketeers

A steampunk update of “The Three Musketeers”? Surprising, but this remake sizzles with the same romantic, self-indulgent glee that made the first “Pirates of the Caribbean” film such fun to watch, brimming with tongue-in-cheek comments, wry delivery and over-the-top characters.

If anything, Paul W.S. Anderson’s movie makes its missteps in being too over-the-top (especially with Orlando Bloom’s malevolently mustachioed Buckingham) and too mischievously anachronistic (17th-century parking tickets? Really?).

Don’t be misled by Milla Jovovich’s “Matrix”-like moves in the trailer; she might be quite the action anti-heroine, but the Musketeers didn’t update very much in that department. There’s still just the femme fatale and a pair of angelic love interests.

However, the ending scenes do point to a more well-rounded Milady de Winter (Jovovich) in the inevitable sequel(s), which, if Hollywood is kind to us, will be better follow-ups than the “Pirates” films.

Overall, it’s adrenaline-pumping fun from start to finish. It’s dressed up pretty in airships, glittery costumes and 17th-century-style gadgets, and it’s narrated by Matthew Macfadyen’s glorious baritone. It’s shallow, but it’s shiny and full of high-octane goodness.