The GOP's Most Irrelevant: Herman Cain

Name Herman Cain
Height 6’0” (estimate)
Why he’s still in the race Wants to be a “party elder.”

Herman Cain’s presidential campaign has been going like a high school guy’s first time in the back seat after homecoming: It started off with a lot of enthusiasm but petered out really quickly.

Cain, the former CEO of Godfather’s Pizza, wowed audiences at the Conservative Political Action Conference in February and at the first debate in May.

He then jumped to the top of the polls for many of the same reasons as Donald Trump and the “Rent Is Too Damn High” guy: He has a lot of personality, and he is (refreshingly) not a politician. However, even GOP primary voters realized Cain is too far out there to beat Barack Obama, the other “black American” in the race.

Cain has made a number of racist statements about Muslims, saying that he was “uncomfortable” when he found out his surgeon was a Muslim and that he would not appoint a Muslim to his cabinet. Even though he appears to have honestly and sincerely apologized, you have to wonder what this says about his character.

Cain is also a fierce advocate for the so-called Fair Tax, a position which, surprisingly, has never been a big winner in a primary. Unfortunately, he won’t be able to turn it into law since he’s suggested that bills should only be three pages long.

The list goes on and on. Cain was completely ignorant of what the Palestinian right of return is and decided he supports it; Cain’s foreign policy on Afghanistan amounts to planning to ask the generals what to do; Cain favorably called the Ryan plan to privatize Medicare “a voucher plan.”

You just can’t make this stuff up.

Cain still causes hard-core activists to get aroused — look at his win Saturday in the Florida “President 5” Straw Poll. But even as they cast their vote, activists acknowledge the Hermanator will not be winning the nomination.

What a pity for Cain. The night started out with so much promise.