Christians and gays: a conversation

I was browsing BBC News earlier this week and I ran across a profile piece about an individual named Andrew Marin, a man who is working tirelessly in the Chicago area to bring the gay community and the Christian conservative community together for an honest and open discussion about sexuality, morality and religion.

I’m sure some of you might have scoffed at the mere suggestion, but Marin has had some success, largely because he has managed to break down some of the barriers between the communities.

As an individual that was raised in a strong Christian, conservative household and that also has had a gay roommate and close friend for the better part of four years now, I also am fairly well acquainted with this issue. I have some thoughts on how Marin’s success can be expanded.

To the Christian community:

First of all, I’d like to say there are many of you who don’t disapprove of homosexuality. You are not my audience.

There are many of you who disagree with homosexuality as a lifestyle but still treat gay individuals with respect. You are not my audience.

To those of you who belittle, disparage and otherwise demean the gay community, you are my audience.  

The attitude of moral superiority diminishes your standing not only among the gay community but also among people who might have identified with your message, but do not identify with hatred.

This isn’t to say you cannot disapprove of homosexuality. It is your right to do so. Rather, all I ask is that you respect your fellow human beings as just that — human beings.    

Just a couple verses for you to consider:

“Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses” – Proverbs 10:12

“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples.” – John 13:34-35

“Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.” – John 8:7

To the gay community:

Many of you need to respect Christians’ right to disagree with you on homosexuality. If you really want to make a difference and help those individuals recognize your shared humanity, it may help to approach them in a way that does not overemphasize that aspect of your personality. Being gay is not the only thing that defines you as a person.

I’m not saying don’t be yourself; I’m saying be yourself in a way that does not actively estrange the very individuals with whom you are trying to connect and convince.  

You may never be able to sway certain segments of the Christian population to the idea that your sexuality is acceptable, but that doesn’t mean you need to label those people bigots, fundamentalists or idiots.

That approach hurts your standing among those Christians that might have accepted you as you are.

If we ever want to have a real conversation about sexuality, morality and religion, we need to approach one another in a way that fosters cooperation and conversation, not hinders it.

I think some of the thoughts above can steer us in the right direction.

­— jontodd@indiana.edu