Tips from a parent

Holly Kirby lives in Memphis, Tenn., and she is the mother of Brooke Lillard, the summer 2011 editor-in-chief of the Indiana Daily Student.

We talked with her to get the inside scoop on what it’s like to be a parent of an
incoming IU student.

What was your biggest worry for Brooke leaving for college?
I think probably worries centering on safety. Knowing she would be out late at night by herself, going to parties on and off campus. I felt comfortable that she was mature and could handle it, but parents are still going to worry about their young adult’s safety in that situation.

What was it like on move-in day? Do you have any tips for other parents?
She lived in Briscoe first semester that she moved in, and it was slammed. There were just so many people moving in at once that it increased all the difficulties exponentially. Bring equipment, bring dollies, bring anything that will help you hoof boxes and heavy items upstairs because the dorms try hard to keep up with the demand and provide things to help carry stuff, but there’s just too many people moving at once.

Was it difficult for you to leave that day?
I will confess I got a little weepy on the way home. I felt very good that she was in an environment that was good for her, that she would have a great time. But you think about missing them.

How did you keep in touch that first year?
We mostly relied on telephone calls. I think that Brooke probably expected me to want her to call in every day because we have had a close relationship, and I’m a very involved parent. So we ended up certainly talking once a week, but other than that I tried to make it on an as-needed basis, mostly relying on her to call me. This was her opportunity to be independent and take care of herself, and I wanted to allow her to do that without hovering.

What was it like on that first visit home? Was it different?
IU, unlike most other schools, does not have a fall break, and so when she moved there for the fall semester, she did not actually come home until Thanksgiving. And by that time we were already able to see some of that transformation into an independent adult.

What’s the biggest tip you can give to other parents?
I would say that the best advice is to rely on the parenting you have done up to that point to prepare them. By the time they leave to go to college, they are either mature enough to handle it or they’re not, and you have to allow them to find that out by themselves.