Music makes most of 2011

Deep in the belly of Bloomington, I found myself freshening up in the little girls’ room at a certain establishment, which will remain unnamed due to the nature of this remarkable event.

This was no ordinary night; it was “Amateur’s Night,” or, as it’s known to most, New Year’s Eve.

Whilst performing the top-secret activities in which all women engage while in the restroom, I suddenly found myself face to face with a ghostly apparition.  

Apparently, this phantasm had floated out of the toilet, going completely unnoticed until directly floating between myself and my reflection.

Appalled, I stood flabbergasted, not only by the spirit, but also by its identity: It was Michael Jackson!

Gesturing for me to follow him to the toilet, he pointed while I stared down in wild disbelief.

My eyes shone as brightly as the ornamentation dangling off his jacket, and through the reflection in the water I glimpsed the future.

This toilet bowl bestowed most of the 2011 music scene unto me, with a little help from my spectral guide.

Out of this watery portal I heard the folksy rhythms of Iron & Wine’s upcoming release “Kiss Each Other Clean,” which will leave the listener soothed with the twangy strings and meditative drums that Samuel Beam seams together.

Another flush and Bright Eyes’ “The People’s Key” hummed into my eardrums.
For the more sentimental at heart, this album will deliver Conor Oberst’s melodramatic voice and shaky sound.

I’m sure the gods of indie music will be appeased by these two releases.
Another flush and Lupe Fiasco’s “Lasers” whirled up out of the ceramic crystal ball.

His smooth vocals and bouncy beats were reminiscent of his past two albums and stamped with his alternative-rap style. I’m almost positive I heard some of the N.E.R.D. clan performing on one of his tracks.

After a few seconds passed, a window-rattling bass dropped, followed by a tight piano drizzled riff.

The unmistakable and breathy sound of Snoop Dogg filled the restroom and the booming voice of Dr. Dre exploded.

After 12 years, the long anticipated album “Detox” will finally hit the shelves. Of course, Dr. Dre is still taking his time to perfect the beat.

Thoroughly shaken by the magnitude of these works, I stepped back from the toilet, but the music proceeded to play.

Electronic noises and the falsetto pitch of Thom Yorke rung out of the toilet, signaling what must have been Radiohead’s upcoming release.

This album has been rumored to be their best, and from the progressive sound of it, I can’t say that I disagree.  

However, by this point in the evening, I’d had enough of this time traveling.

The space-time continuum can be a messy place, and there’s no reason that I should have this entire year’s musical bounty ruined for myself, lest I should do the same for everyone else.

I walked out of the bathroom and into the airy Bloomington night brimming with excitement for the expansion of my iTunes library.