I will survive

Last semester I started watching a little show called Survivor. Week after week, I felt the contestants’ struggles, rejoiced in their triumphs and by Dec. 19, after the season finale, I even had the nasty idea of applying to be on the show myself.

Survivor is currently in the selection process for seasons 23 and 24, proving that the show lives up to its own name. It helped lead the way for all reality television in the beginning of 2000, and there doesn’t seem to be an end in sight.

The show is a win-win for everybody, really. Contestants get a free vacation on a mysterious Nicaraguan beach where they sleep in, play afternoon games, have the occasional evening tribal bonfire and make fools of themselves, while the American audience laughs shamelessly.

Ah, the advanced society.

This past season’s winner was 21-year-old male model Jud Birza, aptly nicknamed “Fabio” during the first episode. As the underdog for the final few episodes, “Fabio” piqued my interest with the show.

After all, who might have guessed that the silly blonde kid would take home the million-dollar prize and become the series’ youngest winner?

If Fabio hadn’t won, I doubt I would have printed off the Survivor application. Young, fun, averse to manipulative scheming, I figured I could fit into this “Fabio-type” and coast through the majority of the game.

During the 24 hours after Fabio’s win I was in a Survivor daze. I knew the odds of being asked to interview with the show’s producers were next to nothing; nevertheless, I tried to estimate my Survivor survival rate.

I figured I could camp out, eat rice for a few weeks and forego a month of showering. The more I thought, I realized there’s nothing to really “survive” anyway. It’s not a disease, it’s not war — it’s a flipping game. It’s just obstacle courses and oversized puzzles.

But my confidence began to waver when I considered the other factors to Survivor — the people. Great entertainment always calls for a few crazies, and for me, that’s where the real challenge would lie.

Fortunately, the show’s adding a new twist called “Redemption Island” that will act as a loophole for the introverted contestant.

Jeff Probst, the host of Survivor, explained how the 22nd season will be different. “When you’re voted out at Tribal Council, you don’t go home,” Probst said. “You go to Redemption Island and you live alone.”

Eventually, another player will be sent to Redemption Island, and the two will compete in a duel. The winner stays on the island and still has a shot at the money; the loser leaves.

Despite this fascinating change, I eventually decided to toss my application. The new year doesn’t quite scream “reality show” to me. I figure I can wait — Survivor isn’t going away anytime soon.

So maybe next year — when instead I ought to face the world outside of the college bubble — maybe that’s the time to beg to be on Survivor.

E-mail: paihenry@indiana.edu