Column: Ode to steak

I have a slightly gross story to share with you.

Don’t worry, it’s actually relevant to my column this week.

I was a strange child, especially in terms of eating habits. Maybe it wasn’t so much that my eating habits were strange; I just don’t know of that many kids who are enthusiastic to eat almost anything.

After all, I was the toddler who would take raw garlic and lemon wedges from my mom’s cutting board and go on to eat them.

But my parents love to tell me the story of my love for steak, even as a tiny baby with the tiniest teeth imaginable.

Mom would make steaks for each of us every now and then. This was, and still occasionally is, my favorite meal. I just really love steak.

And what’s not to love?

It’s juicy and tender. Cooked at medium-rare, you can taste everything perfect about steak.

The texture, the warmth of the juices, how everything melts in your mouth as you chew it.

Oh man. I’m getting hungry just talking about it, and I just had a steak.

Anyway, I loved steak so much as a baby that I would shove it all in my mouth. At once.  

Not my smartest idea.

Regardless of how tiny the pieces were, regardless of how my mother arranged my plate, regardless of any factors that could have changed my eating habits. I still shoved every last piece into my mouth at once.

As a result, my lucky parents got to perform the Heimlich Maneuver on me as an infant.

Twice.

I can’t explain my love for steak so simply. I’ve always been a lover of cows, whether they’re eaten or kept for milking purposes or just wander around fields with those big brown eyes that seem to say, “I love you. Please don’t hurt me.”

I will admit, I feel a slight twinge of guilt eating beef.     

But it doesn’t really have to do with my being conscious of eating a living creature. I just feel bad of how the industry has turned everything into a giant assembly line.

Nonetheless, I love my steak.

It’s such a versatile food item. You can add nearly anything to it to add favor or mask flavor if it’s not well cooked.

For example, tonight I split a steak with my boyfriend and had an amazing lobster-mushroom topping with it.

 It’s been one of my better decisions for steak.

Maybe it’s a bit too decadent, but you know what? It all worked. All of the flavors melted into each other.

Vegans and vegetarians, I do respect your beliefs and understand why you maintain your diets. But please don’t hate on me.

Besides, without meat in our diets we would not have evolved the way we did.
The proteins we get from animal meat are pretty necessary and hard to substitute.

Honestly, I’d rather just take the easier, and still delicious, route.

So steak lovers of the world, unite!  Raise your forks in enthusiasm and deliciousness. Just don’t eat it all at once. You might require the Heimlich Maneuver.

Until next time, I’ll keep daydreaming of my next medium-rare, juicy, savory steak.