Going as the musical apocalypse for Halloween

October is a spooky month. Part of it is preparing for Halloween, but all the dying plants probably have something to do with it, too. Around this time every year, it can seem like there are more eerie vibes and doom in the air. Inspired by some notably bizarre news stories, I present six signs of the apocalypse that have emerged in the music world this month.

1. Jesus < John Lennon < “Glee”?
John Lennon would have been 70 on Oct. 9. If he were alive today, he would have celebrated his birthday the same week the cast of “Glee” broke a record for the most Billboard Hot 100 chart appearances by a non-solo act, a record previously held by the Beatles. Lennon once said his band was “more popular than Jesus,” so apparently our No. 1 most popular icons have been receiving progressively less worship for some 2,000 years. In Jesus’ defense, he is disqualified from the “non-solo act” category.

2. His beautiful dark twist on hip-hop is no fantasy.
The latest Kanye West rumor is that Justin Vernon, the introverted brains behind Bon Iver and Volcano Choir, will appear on a total of nine tracks on his upcoming album, which he tweeted will be called “My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy.”

Remember when “Homecoming,” the only track Kanye collaborated on with Coldplay, was a big deal three years ago?

Vernon, an artist who plays music nine times softer than Coldplay, will be on nine times as many Kanye tracks as the band. How times have changed.
Even stranger, West and Vernon are both auto-tune enthusiasts with talent. I sincerely hope this album will drop pre-apocalyptically.

3. “Think I give a monkey’s uncle about a Grammy?”
On Oct. 10, a rehabilitated Eminem went on TV and told Anderson Cooper that he forbids profanity in his house. Combine that with Eminem living long enough to see himself become the most boring segment on “60 Minutes” and Hell just gets frostier. Then again, whenever artists hit 37 and quit drugs, they start talking about things such as parenthood in interviews.

4. There is a ballet based on The Shins’ “Oh, Inverted World.”
It debuted Oct. 1. Apparently Green Day’s “American Idiot” on Broadway did not completely squash everyone’s faith in rock expressed through performance dance after all.

5. All of Georgia’s gonna love you, Band of Horses.
Shortly before reuniting with Goodie Mob, the busy Cee-Lo Green uncorked a genius, danceable cover of southern rock group Band of Horses’ genius smooth jam “No One’s Gonna Love You” this past summer.

The band returned the favor with a drumline-anchored cover of Green’s spirited home state tribute, “Georgia,” which they recorded with the University of Georgia’s marching band and made available to download.

Plenty of indie rock heavyweights have contributed to mainstream hip-hop and R&B lately, (see sign No. 2,) but until “Georgia,” I had yet to hear a truly successful attempt at the opposite and never expected to. And yet, it became my best 99-cent purchase in recent memory. 

This is far from a cheap stab at irony; in fact, Horses frontman Ben Bridwell claims the band did its cover in homage to his Georgia Bulldogs football team, the friendly state of Georgia and his new pal Cee-Lo.  Band of Horses also once let Kid Cudi sample “Funeral.” I blindly and vainly predict they will tackle Cudi’s “Cleveland Is The Reason” next.

6. I decided to lay off of Weezer.
But I will say that new music video with those “Jackass” guys is way extreme.