Brunch won't work. Ever.

Thanks for reading this. I know you’re pretty busy — who isn’t? — but I’m quite grateful that you would deem this worthy of your time.

If you read at an average adult pace you’ll probably finish this column in less than two minutes, and with your busy schedule, that’s a valuable chunk of time. I know your calendar is overflowing and reading this is certainly keeping you from the eight other things you need to be doing. But for the next few minutes, let’s slow down and talk honestly about our business. It shouldn’t be too hard. This probably won’t be the first discussion you’ve had about your overwhelming schedule today.

Wherever I go, I hear people talking about how overbooked they are. When did “busy” replace “fine” as the standard answer for “How are you, today?”  
If your experience is anything like mine, you encounter apologetically overbooked individuals all the time — in fact, I see one every time I look in the mirror. They are so sorry for being in a hurry, but were caught there before making it here and will be back later but first they have the other thing, so it was nice to catch up. Really, it was. But now they have to run.

They seem to love to rush, but why?

This summer, psychologists from the University of Chicago took up this question, asking if humans had a basic need to fill their time. They asked volunteers to complete two surveys, with a 15-minute gap between them. After completing the first survey, participants could choose to hand it in and wait patiently for the next, or they had the option to drop it off at a distant location, filling the 15-minute gap between surveys with a commute to and from the more distant site. Most volunteers “chose to stay busy by going to the faraway location.” The researchers concluded those who occupied their time were “happier than those who chose to be idle.” 

Wait, happier? I thought schedules were overwhelming and overbearing. Aren’t we bound by them? Our language certainly suggests we are. It’s fairly obvious you and I are both “tied up” at the moment — don’t worry, I’ll “let you go” soon — but until then, neither one of us is really “free”. These are the words we use, aren’t they?

But who are we kidding? We aren’t forced to be busy. We’re worn-down, blood-shot, droopy-eyed messes because we want to be. We could step out from behind the rhetorical tricks that make it seem like our schedule controls us and admit that we control them. But where’s the fun in that?

I’d love to talk more about this sometime, but now I really do have to go. Please forgive me. But we really should do this again. When? Lunch is full, and dinner’s out for the next two weeks.

And brunch won’t work. Ever.


E-mail: tycherne@indiana.edu