Expert advice

Reporter Allie Townsend spoke with Christine Schelhas-Miller, IU graduate and professor of adolescent development at Cornell University, about the mistakes parents came make when sending their child off to college.

Schelhas-Miller is the co-author of "Don't Tell Me What to Do, Just Send Me Money: The Essential Parenting Guide to the College Years."

Q What do you want parents to take away from your book?

A I think the biggest message is in the first chapter. It’s that your role as a parent is changing dramatically when your child is in college.

It doesn’t mean that you’re not still an influence, but that you should switch to more of a mentoring role where you raise questions and suggest alternatives, but you’re no longer telling them what do to.

You’re still a parent, but you’re adding the mentor role. It’s more of an advising relationship.

Q What do you think is the biggest mistake parents can make in the first few months of their children being a college student?

A I think it’s not making their expectations clear before their child goes to college. People don’t make their expectations clear about what kind of communication they want to have and are then upset or angry because their child is not meeting their expectations.

It’s the same thing with money. Making expectations clear with money is important, too. The big problems arise when expectations are not clear.

Q What do you think is the most important thing parents should know or read about before they send their children off to college?

A I think they should definitely read the first chapter, which describes their new role. It explains the change in the relationship.

And, I think they should read the second chapter, which deals with getting them off to college.

After that, the book is not particularly chronological. They don’t have to read it cover to cover. They can pick and choose which sections to read based on what their child is going through.