House moms share stories of tables, roofs, motorcycles

Irma Denney said she has enough stories to write a book. Her tales include a 10-foot high teepee she tore down herself, tables on roofs and motorcycles on tables, and arriving to work to find her office door missing.

Denney said being a fraternity house director keeps her young.

She has been one for 25 years, splitting her time between Sigma Alpha Epsilon and Phi Kappa Psi.

Though she has never been a live-in director, she has her own office, where she plans menus, orders food, resolves maintenance issues, oversees staff, schedules events and communicates with the fraternity members.

And when she goes home at night or for the weekend, she is still on stand-by. Her phone rings constantly.

“I’ve been called at 2:30 in the morning with the fire alarms going off,” Denney said. “It’s hard to know when there’s a problem if you’re not there. But being there 24 hours a day, seven days a week with the constant noise and questions would disturb you. I think that’s why I’ve been a house mom for so long. I get to come home.”

All the sororities have live-in house moms, so Suzie Kyle, on the other hand, lives in her own apartment on the main floor of the Delta Gamma house. She has been the house director there for 20 years.

“It’s like running a small hotel,” Kyle said. “But this is my home.”

But the job is as much about being there emotionally as it is about being there to oversee the day-to-day operations.

Living in the house allows Kyle to form a unique relationship with the women.
Though the sisters come to her with problems including failed tests, ex-boyfriends or fights with friends, she said she also gets to experience and hear all the good things, too.

“Seeing the girls as they are when we get them as freshmen or move in as sophomores and how they grow and change over the three years that I’m here is most rewarding,” Kyle said. “And they come back and they’re a little bit older and they might be a little bit wiser, and they all have their own lives. But when they come back they’re all back in college again.”

And that’s where Kyle seems content to remain — in college, as a DG.

In 1999, the sorority initiated her, and she now has alumni status. Her granddaughter, a freshman at Butler University, recently pledged Delta Gamma.

Whereas Kyle is referred to as “Mom Kyle,” Denney said she sees her role as more of guide, helping the men make the right decisions.

“I think a lot of the time, they’ll give you the answer they think you want to hear,” Denney said. “They’re all really close. You don’t tell on your brothers. But all my boys are good, positive people.”

Denney said Phi Psi is good to her.

And for that she is as loyal to the men as they are to each other. 

“It’s a busy life,” Denney said. “But I wouldn’t have it — or want it — any other way.”
Such house directors seem to be a rare find. After Zeta Tau Alpha’s house director resigned last semester, the sorority has formed a committee to conduct interviews and meet candidates for the open position.

“Without a house director, we wouldn’t have everything maintained,” said Lauren Ratcliff, president and sophomore. “It would be hard for a college student to balance all that a house director does, and it would be hard to ask an 18-, 19-, 20-year-old member to take on that responsibility.”

Ratcliff said hiring is a tough process because the women want to find the perfect person for the job: someone with a good balance of business sense and emotional support and who will stay for several years — someone like Denney or Kyle.

“On a daily basis Irma is talking with our housing corporation, managing our kitchen staff, working with alumni and handling the budget. There’s stuff she does that I don’t even know about,” Phi Psi President Christopher Held said. “All-in-all, it’s the little things she does. Simply put, she does everything.”