'Cine'cism

If there’s one question everyone asks when engaging in a discussion on time travel, it’s “What would you do if you had a time machine?”

And in the spirit of this issue, I would journey to the time before blockbusters dominated not just the summer but also the entire year. The question becomes: How far back would I have to go? Hopefully not all the way before “Jaws.”

Maybe it’s my own biased apathy to hype itself and nearly everything coming out this year, but 2010 has struck me as the year of the blockbuster. Not a single wide-release that has come out in the last three months has been something other than an effort in fanboy baiting or a tent-pole franchise in the making.

Cast enough actors in a standard romantic comedy and you’ll have a hit on your hands — and enough money to give a dollar to everyone involved in “Valentine’s Day.” Get Denzel Washington to read Bible verses and murder people with a machete, and you’ll be a wealthy man.

Adapt a kids’ book series and you can’t fail, as evidenced by “Percy Jackson” and “Diary of a Wimpy Kid.” And don’t underestimate the appeal of Dwayne Johnson in a tutu. 

Why is it that audiences will seek out an Iraq War movie if it’s based on a Nicholas Sparks novel but not if it stars Jason Bourne himself? Why is it we need a makeshift-remake of “Repo: The Genetic Opera,” a cult film as recent as 2007?

Why is it that people everywhere will shell out millions to pay the added surcharge to see “Alice in Wonderland” in 3-D when Tim Burton has taken a step backward in developing the technology that worked so well in “Avatar?” His gimmicky use of 3-D did nothing to stop his formulaic quirkiness from making “Alice” the biggest economic success of his career.

The exception is Martin Scorsese’s “Shutter Island,” which is admittedly more interesting than anything else mainstream Hollywood has to offer right now.

But because it was ineligible for 2009’s award season, were audiences seeing it because it was a Scorsese movie or because it was a dark, awesome thriller of sorts? “Shutter Island” is the best opening of Scorsese’s career, and it’s close behind “The Departed” in total gross.

Did anyone watch Roman Polanski’s “The Ghost Writer”? Did anyone seek out the Oscar nominees for Foreign Language Film “Ajami” or “A Prophet”? Did anyone go see the reissues of “Crazy Heart,” “An Education” and “A Single Man” after they received their Oscar nominations? 

People did last year with “Gran Torino” (not nominated for any Oscars) and “Slumdog Millionaire.” But don’t forget that we started the blockbuster sweep early last year, too, with “Watchmen.” The year before that had “27 Dresses,” “Cloverfield,” “10,000 BC” and “Fool’s Gold”; “300” in 2007 and “Scary Movie 4” in 2006.

It used to be just a lack of quality in the early months of the year — and for good reasons. But suddenly every weekend now is a new rush to the theater.

I don’t have any interest in “Clash of the Titans,” “Kick-Ass,” “The Last Song,” “The Losers” or “A Nightmare on Elm Street,” but heaven forbid I get cut out of the loop!

Here’s another thought: Can my time machine just take me straight to November?