Sound Check

MTV decided to drop the words “Music Television” from its official logo last week, long after “The Real World” diagnosed the phrase’s meaning as terminal. In its memory, my music column this week won’t actually feature any music, but rather adolescent-friendly melodrama and cheap humor so as to get more people to watch — I mean read it. Through this rare opportunity, I present a tribute to my personal favorite contradictions that made MTV the channel I loved to hate and sometimes even watched when nobody was looking.

“Beavis & Butt-Head” (1993-97)

MTV got a peek into the power of alternative programming with the massive success of dim-witted metalheads Beavis and Butt-Head, lovable stars of the most parent-hated cartoon of its time. Not only did the crude duo gain enough popularity to become the faces of Music Television, they became ’90s icons. Between seven seasons and a feature film, their names are now practically synonymous with Nirvana or “Titanic.” Here’s to the “your momma” jokes that came before MTV beat those to death mercilessly and a memorable decade spent heh-heh-heh-ing.

“Jackass” (2000-02)

MTV’s programming wasn’t the only thing that “Jackass” changed forever. Adolescents everywhere started to find gratification in bullying their parents and stealing their camcorders to record some good times with shopping carts and fireworks in the parking lot. Whenever that warning screen flashed at the beginning of every show, it was another great day in the history of reverse psychology. Not to mention the daily reports of Knoxville followers rendered sterile from copycat stunts.

“The Osbournes” (2002-05)

It was a reality series based on a famous musician’s family, but “The Osbournes” had about as much to do with music as “Teen Mom” does. It didn’t matter; Ozzy was back, and for three long years, he was our favorite old guy. Then his show ended in 2005 and Chuck Norris promptly dethroned him. But how we remember the antics, the profanity, and the show’s way of blatantly milking that priceless element of “this is your brain on drugs!”

“3 South” (2002-03)

“3 South” was a short-lived animated series about socially inept college friends that felt somewhat like a failed reincarnation of “Beavis and Butt-Head.” Still, both shows were heavily stacked with one-liners and shared an adorably immature quality about them (fecal humor was pretty essential to “3 South”). This show couldn’t answer the call to be its decade’s B&B, but it was hard to get enough of while it lasted.

“Laguna Beach: The Real Orange County” (2004-06)

A humorously successful step forward for MTV’s format. The success of “The Real World” provided one big “a-ha” moment for MTV executives who saw how much people love contrived reality-drama stirred up between six to eight attractive people and documented. Then, they took a shot in the dark and tried one without a purpose: Instead of featuring a houseful of people from assorted backgrounds, what about people that just live in the same place? The result: “Laguna Beach.” People watched, and MTV continues to provide — the show paved the way for “The Hills” and “Jersey Shore.”