She Says: Woman, hold the wonder

I absolutely hate Wonder Woman.

I hated her even before I was born. I’ve loathed her ever since she first slipped on those red high-heeled boots and told all our moms that women could be powerful and strong – as long as they had a 24-inch waist.

But it wasn’t all her fault. She was a tool, a metaphor: the 1960s answer to a time when women demanded change, but everyone else wasn’t ready.

If women want to be professionals, OK, but they must also be homemakers. You want to do more? Why not do everything?

Get a degree, find a job, lasso a husband, run a home, manage a family, fight crime, look sexy – that’s what the world told them.

Oh, and while you’re at it, don’t complain, or sweat, or even struggle. Make it look easy. Don’t smudge that makeup, ladies. Smile.

I hate Wonder Woman because of what she has made us believe we have to be. Our mothers fought to be taken seriously and were handed a doll used as a representation of a 5-foot-10, 125-pound woman. Then after years of chasing after that doll, our moms dusted her off and laid her, leotard and all, at our feet.

Living up to that ideal is nauseating.

What’s even more difficult is the fact that what we are supposed to be doesn’t even make sense.

We have to be sexy, but we’re not supposed to actually want to have sex. And then if (God forbid) we decide to be sexual, we have to be coy and cool. But not too confident, or bam! We’re labeled a slut.

In the classroom, it’s all the same. The girl who talks too much, who disagrees and who speaks her opinions is a bitch (See exhibit A: Hillary Clinton). A good girl is quiet, demure, gracious and doesn’t rub anyone the wrong way. Too bad those characteristics do not make a great leader.

Did I mention that we’re supposed to look hot? Always. But not only that, we’re supposed to look like looking good wasn’t difficult. News flash: looking good is always difficult.

And be careful not to look too sexy, because if someone rapes you, then they’ll say it was your fault. A cheetah-print top? Clearly she was asking for it.

But it isn’t all bad.

In fact, being a woman is often incredible and challenging and exciting and wonderful. The fact that the world underestimates us makes it that much more fun to exceed people’s expectations. Oh, and that multiple orgasm thing isn’t so shabby either.

The day-to-day work of being a woman isn’t what is so difficult. It’s trying to live up to that suffocating standard that makes us go crazy.

We’re just as diverse and complex as any other group of people, and we want to stop being pigeon-holed into assuming some sort of super-human persona. We want to be able do everything, but that doesn’t mean that we have to be everything all at once.
Let us just be wonderful, women. Save the leotard for someone else.

Erin Chapman is a junior majoring in history.