Sex talk receives standing ‘O’vation

As the standing ovation died down, some audience members left the Indiana Memorial Union’s Alumni Hall shocked and appalled. Others were grateful for the open conversation on human rights.

Still some were just glad their questions about sex were finally answered.

Syndicated sex columnist Dan Savage brought his “Savage Love” column to life in a live question-and-answer session Thursday night, answering a full crowd’s questions on issues such as gay rights, sexuality in American society and Savage’s column in Seattle’s The Stranger.

The event was part of IU’s Sexploration Week, a series of events that provide students with information on sex-related issues, and was sponsored by the Indiana Memorial Union Board and Pure Romance Inc.

Kathryn Brown, a health educator with Health and Wellness Education, said that when a committee came together to plan Sexploration week during the spring, Savage was one of the first names that was mentioned as a possible speaker.

“People that knew about him were really excited, and those that didn’t know him checked him out,” she said.

The attendees received a blank card before entering Alumni Hall and were asked to write down a question for Savage, who was wearing a black IU T-shirt. These questions from anonymous attendees became the basis for the lecture as Savage read them aloud and answered with a blend of humor and sincerity, all with little hesitation.

“Wherever we go tonight, however disgusting it may be, we all know who’s to blame,” he said.

Questions ranged from requests for Savage’s insight on serious issues to advice on sex and relationship problems commonly faced by those in their 20s.

One audience member asked Savage if it was OK if they slept with someone to get over an ex, even though there was no real connection and no feelings toward the other person.

“It’s unfair to that person,” Savage said. “It is unfair to be using someone like that. For someone to have sex with another person and find out that the other person has no feelings for them, that can be shattering.”

Another brought up the issue of hate crime legislation, which the openly gay Savage said would not stop crimes against homosexuals, but would only add extra penalties to those found guilty.

“The hate crime legislation is not a force field that will protect gays and lesbians,” he said. “I can still get punched in the face.”

Savage recommended that people explore their sexuality while in college, advising a girl who wanted to kiss another girl to be assertive, and advocating that people stay conscious of the risk of sexually transmitted diseases.

On the issue of monogamy in marriage, Savage believes that people should not view monogamy as something that goes away permanently after one instance of infidelity, but a facet of the relationship that can be restored. He said that a common problem in marriages is that those that do not truly believe in monogamy marry people that do.

He also added that American society tends to have a close-minded view on sexuality compared to other countries because of its Puritan roots.

“There’s a flip side to that though,” he said. “It makes us freaky-deaky weirdos and makes us fun.”

Savage also briefly touched on his personal life and column. When asked about the most embarrassing story he heard, he talked about a response he received to a column on bestiality.

A man married to a horse defended bestiality, and Savage had him as a guest on a radio show. When Savage asked if the horse was male or female, the man became furious at Savage for questioning his sexuality.

“That was the worse thing you could imply about this marriage, that he married a gay horse,” Savage joked.