Sex columnist Dan Savage visits IU today

Syndicated sex columnist Dan Savage  says porn and masturbation are healthy for couples.

Savage will bring his sometimes-controversial “sexpertise” to the Indiana Memorial Union’s Alumni Hall  as part of this year’s Sexploration tonight at 7 p.m.

Savage said he is often considered controversial because he discusses aspects of sex that are generally considered taboo or uncomfortable, such as the risks.

“Sex can’t be 100 percent safe, and a rational person can still engage in it,” he said.
He also argued that “men are pigs” and will cheat, but “women will cheat, too.”

He observed that “women tend to come into their kinks later in life” than men. Savage said he believes masturbation and pornography are good for relationships.

“I don’t think it’s unhealthy,” he said. “I don’t think it’s impossible.”

However, he qualified that not cheating isn’t as easy as society at large pretends. Savage’s advised method is to admit the attraction but not act on it.

“(It’s) not that you don’t want to,” he said. “You do want to. You’ll always want to.”
It is that pressure that adds tension to many relationships, he said.

The event will take on a question-and-answer format in which Savage will respond to anonymous queries from the audience, written on cards beforehand.

“It’s not about my agenda. It’s not about what I want to talk about, it’s what you want to talk about,” he said, though his personal life is off-limits. “We’ll explore sex issues in my talk.”

Junior Caitlin Van Kooten, lectures director for the Union Board, said that based on what she’s read of his column, “Savage Love,” she thinks Savage will appeal to students, as well as a larger audience. 

“I definitely know people will be entertained by this, and I believe they will be informed as well,” she said. “Even if it doesn’t specifically pertain to you ... it’s so interesting people are definitely going to laugh.”

Van Kooten added that she hopes audience members will leave feeling more comfortable talking about sex.

Sexploration is organized by the IU Health Center’s Health and Wellness Education Division.

Kathryn Brown, a health educator with Health and Wellness Education, said they chose Savage in part because organizers think he will be well-received by many different types of people.

She said his humor and relaxed manner is a great way to educate people about sex and their bodies in a more laid-back environment.

Savage described sex itself as “deeply awkward.”

“We have to laugh to release that tension,” he said, adding that sex is more powerful than people and thus makes them feel helpless. “Humor is the weapon,” he said.