College students marry despite full class load

In college, students come from all walks of life.

Classmates gather from all over the world, from different cultures, age groups and economic upbringings.

Some people in college are even married.

While some say a university is not the best place to start a marriage, others choose to tie the knot and have few regrets.

Law student Alex Gude is one of those people.

He met his wife Andi on the first day of freshman orientation. They both lived in the honors community in Forest Quad; both were marketing majors in the business school, and after being best friends all through most of their undergraduate work, they started dating during their senior year.

The couple finally tied the knot this August as Gude began his third year at the Mauer School of Law.

Gude has no regrets about being married while still in college.

“I don’t wish that we waited. I think that we got married at the perfect time,” he said. “We were both ready for it, and everything worked out well. I don’t think we were ready to get married before we did, however. I think marriage would have been a lot harder if we did it when we were in undergrad because I don’t think either of us would have been ready for all the responsibility that comes with it.”

Gude knows that marriage isn’t for everyone – whether in college or not.

“My main piece of advice is that you should only get married if you really are ready to commit yourself fully to someone who you love,” he said. “Marriage takes work and a seriousness that I know I didn’t have until I was old enough to appreciate what it was that I was doing.”

Priscilla Moore was married in August 2002, a day after her husband James Moore graduated from IU. She was a freshman at the time.

“The main challenge I faced was trying to split my time between all of the responsibilities (in my marriage) and taking classes,” she said. “There were always things we had to take care of that went before the needs of my classes.”

She not only had to deal with being a wife and a student: Her husband is in the Army.

“I took classes here and there while we moved around with the military,” she said. “It wasn’t until summer 2007 that I went full-time again at IUB while my husband finished up his time in the service.”

At the time of their marriage, the newly graduated James Moore was less than a month away from going into basic training. He doesn’t regret getting married before the joining military.

“It is nice to come home and not bring work home,” he said.

Priscilla Moore said the college experience isn’t the same for someone who is married.

“I think college is a lot different being married versus single,” she said. “You have a lot more responsibilities as a married student. Not only do you have the stresses that come with class, but also the stresses of married life. It’s worth it, though.”

Laurel Cornell, an associate professor in the department of sociology, said she thinks the number of students tying the knot in college is most likely small, but she said married students sometimes better comprehend the need to graduate.

“They’re likely to better understand the importance of finishing college,” Cornell said. “They’re more likely to be focused on their studies, because they have a serious commitment to some other person.”

Despite the possible benefits, Cornell said marriages at the ages of most college students are less likely to last.

“There’s lots of evidence that people who get married at young ages are far more likely to divorce than those that wait until their mid 20s,” she said. “Marriage requires a certain amount of maturity. People change a lot between their late teenage years and early 20s, so if people get married during that time, then they’ve likely made the wrong choice.”

Priscilla Moore said she doesn’t believe marriage is something that should be pushed back.

“I would say don’t listen to anyone who pushes the idea of waiting for marriage,” she said. “Only you know when it’s right and when you’re ready to make the leap in marriage.”

She also believes that getting married should not make somebody stop going to college.

“If you want to finish school, you will,” she said. “Just because you may be paying now instead of your parents, it’s totally doable.”