Big bad record

It must be difficult to be a one-hit wonder. Years of hard work, and then boom, your career is associated with one song forever.

Plain White T’s find themselves in that situation, after “Hey There Delilah” tore up the charts in 2007.

As the mainstream fans jumped aboard the “Delilah” train, older T’s fans missing the act’s simple pop-punk sound hopped off.

So the conundrum for their new album is clear, and it’s one that most one-hit wonders face after their mega hit: mold your sound to the three minutes everyone knows you for or continue to expand your sound, pre-teens be damned.

And it’s no surprise that Plain White T’s chose the former and even less of a surprise that their new record Big Bad World is atrocious.  

Even though the band has always written oversimplified pop songs, Plain White T’s have reached a new plateau of cheese. At least some older songs contained sizable hooks to sing along with; here, most of the tracks are “Delilah” clones that feature no range, an abnormal mess of handclaps and a lack of anything redeeming. 

“That Girl” is the worst, featuring horrendously immature lyrics like “Do do do you wanna be on top / Or on the Ba ba bottom don’t make me stop / Cause I know oh oh / I’m in la la love with you girl.”

Additionally, even the songs on Big Bad World that aren’t ear poison still suck mightily. “Big Bad World,” “1,2,3,4” and the first single “Natural Disaster” are marginally catchy, but they’re blatantly tailor-made for Top 40 radio. And luckily, the lyrics are just as appalling: “She made the music come to life / She moved her body like a butcher knife / Chopping up every guy in sight” (from “Natural Disaster”).

Save “1,2,3,4,” the best part of Big Bad World is that it only includes 10 tracks, barring those of us who like halfway decent music any more torture. Nevertheless, Plain White T’s will probably move a lot of units with this piece of shit, proving it truly is a big, bad world.