Starting college is one of the biggest challenges a teenager can face.
Not to fear: Harlan Cohen, best-selling author, syndicated advice
columnist, speaker and fellow Hoosier has the answers to college life’s
toughest questions. The Indiana Daily Student spoke to Harlan about the
challenges students face in the upcoming weeks.
Indiana Daily
Student: What opportunities is a student faced with at a big school
like IU that might not be found at a smaller school?
Harlan
Cohen: Well, there’s the opportunity to get lost, but you have to work
to find your place. You see all of the tradition, and you have
expectations. Especially with things like athletics, you see so many
ways to have fun. The reality is that these experiences don’t all come
right away. You must find experiences that will define your experience.
Give yourself time to have a good time.
IDS: Students often feel pressured to “find their niche” as soon as they arrive at college. What are the effects of this?
Cohen:
You end up settling for whatever gets thrown at you first. With
friends, they might reflect nothing of who you are. They could be
assholes. If you can identify what you like to do, when you find out,
you can then find the place where you belong. It’s all about being
comfortable in your Indiana thong.
IDS: What’s an Indiana thong?
Cohen:
Your Indiana thong is the thing that accentuates the things that you
are uncomfortable with. When you’re wearing the thong, all those things
are exposed for everyone to see. You’ve got to embrace the thong.
You’ve got to be comfortable with who you are and with what experiences
you might face.
IDS: What advice would you give a student preparing for his or her first weeks of college?
Cohen:
You have got to do something. Opportunities are not just going to come
to you. Things are not just going to come to you. Maybe food will come
to you if you if you order it ... but you have to go do it. And people
get uncomfortable because they don’t know people or they don’t know the
answer in class. You’re not supposed to know everything. You’re new.
Think about this: If a freshman eats alone, they either think of
themselves as a hungry loser or a hungry freshman who is eating alone.
Soon enough, other people are going to sit down and eat there, too. You
just have to be patient.
IDS: What are some of the most common issues you’ve come across that discourage new students?
Cohen:
Homesickness always. Two-thirds of students feel homesick. It’s normal.
Relationships, too; friends from back home, long-distance
relationships, figuring out whether a long-distance relationship is
worth it. Then you’ve got the roommate who smells or is hard to live
with. My advice would be to say to them from the start, “If I do
something that pisses you off, tell me. I’ll listen. And I will do the
same.” It’s tough because you want to be nice. And it’s not nice to be
honest. But it’s also not good to create confrontation when you aren’t
honest.
IDS: College has always been considered a time when you can “reinvent yourself.” How do you feel about this idea?
Cohen:
It all depends on how you want to reinvent yourself. You can’t forget
who you are. You start with who you are, then you take steps.
Eventually, you can become that ‘somebody else.’ But it’s big that you
not completely change who you are right away. Because, to be honest,
it’s exhausting to be someone else.
Harlan Cohen is the best-selling
author of “The Naked Roommate And 107 Other Issues You Might Run Into
In College.” His syndicated advice column, “Help Me, Harlan!” also
appears in daily and college newspapers across the country, including
the IDS.
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