'Superbad' for sissies

Judd Apatow has great sympathy for the underdog. Whether in his television series “Freaks and Geeks” or his dramatic comedy “Knocked Up,” Apatow loves to root for the losers. That seems to be the only way I can explain his involvement
in “Drillbit Taylor,” a formulaic tale of high-school bullies versus geeks. Nevertheless, love for the beta male is no excuse for such a disaster,
especially since not even Owen Wilson’s quirky comedy can save this film.

“Drillbit Taylor” revolves around three archetypal geeks – chubby and foul-mouthed (Troy Gentile), tall and gawky (Nate Hartley) and the super-geek (David Dorfman) – as they enter their first year of high school. The three teens are constantly picked on by two bullies until they hire homeless Army deserter Drillbit Taylor as their bodyguard, who comes to their school and goes undercover as a substitute teacher. The movie ends with the usual bullies vs. geeks showdown that you have probably seen a thousand times.

If you think the three teens sound familiar, you’re right, as an almost identical trio in Seth (chubby and foul-mouthed), Evan (tall and gawky) and McLovin (super-geek) was used in “Superbad.” Unsurprisingly, both movies were co-written by the chubby foul-mouthed Seth Rogen. The sex of “Superbad” is replaced with violence, but not all vulgarity is thrown away. This movie feels like it’s in an identity crisis with its PG-13 rating: The story is more fitting for a PG movie, while Rogen and Apatow’s humor is fit for an R.

Owen Wilson, usually a highlight in any movie he is in, must hold back his comic ability, as his character has sad and serious undertones, leaving his delivery feeling restrained in a madcap comedy. The geeks aren’t able to capture your heart, while the bullies are ridiculously mean and never punished.

The relevance and realism of Apatow’s past dramatic comedies is absent here, as the movie’s events are far too preposterous to be anything but scripted. Whether it’s the instant and unexplained sexual relationship between Drillbit and the love-struck English teacher (Leslie Mann) or Drillbit’s thieving homeless friends, the movie just
feels unnatural.

There is occasionally a laugh from Wilson or a random supporting character, but that’s the only thing keeping “Drillbit” from being a complete failure. Stay away from this one.