Split screen

If you love a good thriller/mystery, then there’s no doubt you will find yourself in front of the TV Thursday night watching the season premiere of “LOST” on ABC, er, the IU-Wisconsin game on ESPN. \nExcuse the confusion, it’s just that I haven’t been caught in this kind of a boob tube battle since “DuckTales” and “Pee-wee’s Playhouse” aired simultaneously on Saturday mornings. And after the Hoosiers couldn’t find a detour to the basket in last Saturday’s home loss, there seems to be plenty of parallels between ABC’s primetime hit and Kelvin Sampson’s crew. A four-letter word not chanted by the student section comes to mind ...\nWhich got me thinking: What would the cast of “LOST” look like if made up of current members of the Hoosier basketball team? (And you thought you had too much time on your hands.) Here’s how I would cast it:\nJack, played by D.J. White – Like the selfless doctor, White is the reluctant leader on the floor. He never demanded the alpha position, but found it thrust upon him over time, much like Jack after the crash of Oceanic Air Flight 815. When someone’s hurt, the survivors go to Jack. D.J. has bailed his team out plenty of times over the years.\nSayid, played by Eric Gordon – EJ often leaves the opposition begging for mercy with his deft touch and slashes to the rim not unlike the torture victims of a certain former Iraqi soldier. Although Gordon may be slightly more innocent than Sayid, on the hardwood he’s just as cunning.\nKate played by Jordan Crawford – Crawford’s decision making skills sometimes seem comparable to that of the curvaceous fugitive, who chose to be with Sawyer over Jack last season. But when this guard’s jumper is falling, only one word comes to mind: sexy.\nSawyer, played by Armon Bassett – Supposedly, Bassett is playing with an injured ankle, but after the sophomore connected on six 3-point attempts last Saturday, opponents should be on their guard. That’s a con man’s smirk on his face. \nMr. Eko, played by Mike White – Mike could definitely pull off the Nigerian-king-pin-turned-Catholic-priest role. I mean, how is that any more difficult than being a gravity-bound 6-foot-6 starting forward in the Big Ten?\nJin, played by Jamarcus Ellis – The guy does it all: catches fish, sails boats, ambushes “Others” – and yet no one seems to understand his importance. Must be the language thing.\nCharlie, played by Lance Stemler – He’s seen as a burden, is unappreciated and unwanted, but he comes through in critical situations. Will Stemler re-enact his own version of Charlie’s courage in last year’s finale before the sun sets on IU’s 2007-08 campaign?\nWalt, played by A.J. Ratliff – We know he’s an important piece of the puzzle, but all he ever does is make brief, unannounced cameos before retreating back into the jungle. A.J. was born to play this part.\nHurley, played by DeAndre Thomas – The role of the lovable, big guy naturally fits Thomas. After shedding the weight of a small child over the summer, he’s already proved he has superior will power to Hurley.\nRousseau, played by Brett Finkelmeier – Everyone accepts the fact that the crazy French chick inhabits the island, but like Finkelmeier’s presence on the sideline, no one quite knows how or why.\nThere’s plenty at stake in this upcoming episode with the winner gaining control of the island – I mean, Big Ten. The Hoosiers should have their hands full, however, against the “Others” of Madison. And if it wasn’t for DVR, my brain would feel just as overloaded. But whether you tune in to “LOST” or IU-Wisconsin, one parallel is guaranteed: There’s bound to be drama.