LOL horror

Because of the times we live in, I expected a movie about cyber crime to dwell on the moral and legal aspects of such crimes. I was wrong.\n"Untraceable" was a generic thriller, its only redeeming qualities being the technological splendor of the FBI's Portland, Ore., headquarters and the cautionary social commentary about the freaks who troll the Web and the awful things those freaks will do when not burdened by social stigmas.\nAfter opening with an exploration of the killer's basement lair, the movie cuts to Jennifer Marsh (Diane Lane), a young FBI agent who, while working late one night, discovers www.killwithme.com, where someone on the other end of a Webcam is killing people by automating the murder weapons and linking them to a Web counter. Every hit the site gets brings the victim closer to death. \nThe pervasive use of computer jargon and "1337"-speak ("ROFLMAO," the killer gloats after his first kill -- i.e., "rolling on the floor laughing my ass off") time-stamps this film as a product of the 21st century. Otherwise, it would have been any mystery-esque horror movie. One insane villain, one plucky officer of the law and some creative ways to destroy the human form equal a visual romp, but not much else. \nDespite its running time being less than two hours, this movie felt long. One murder isn't enough time for Marsh and her cubicle buddy stereotypical cyber geek Griffin Dowd (Colin Hanks), to figure out which local residence houses the killing floor. By the time another person and yet another person were strung up, I found myself yawning and tapping my foot, restless for the end. Instead of creating tension in taking a human life, "Untraceable" made its victims expendable and therefore offered no emotional argument against the masses who were killing with a click. \nUnless you're someone whose goal in life is to see any film that involves maiming, don't pay to see this at a theater. Wait until it's released on DVD, or better, venture into the Internet's series of tubes and download it to your PC. Until then, I've GTG, but there's MTC.