What not to wear

The students in the class for which I am a teaching assistant asked me a rather interesting question: Why is J.K. Rowling’s Dumbledore character gay? After an awkward explanation of the birds and the bees, we moved forward with more relevant inquiries to the world of public affairs, such as why Sen. Larry Craig is gay? Again, it was awkward mostly because the only thing my parents told me about sex was that I’m never going to get any.\nBut I digress.\nThe inquisitive nature of these students never ceases to amaze me. One minute it’s Dumbledore and Craig, the next it’s something totally off topic and irrelevant to class. For example, a rather outspoken faction within the class (okay, all of them) recently suggested an exam be moved because it was scheduled for the day after Halloween. They even voted on it: 50 in favor of moving, two brown-nosers against. \nSilly students. They must have thought college classrooms are some sort of democracy, rather than an opportunity to stroke the egos of instructors. Suffice it to say, the vote was vetoed. The test would go forward as planned, hungover from Halloween or not.\nI’d be lying if I said their request didn’t strike me as odd, even inappropriate. The idea of moving a test to placate the need to dress up and drink alcohol seemed out of line, in violation of some established social contract.\nBut then it occurred to me that these students, in their infinite wisdom, had actually pointed to a rather interesting aspect of our society: the need to be appropriate at all times, to somehow bring into consideration the unspoken rules of order and properness to which everyone is expected to adhere. In a sense, the simple request to move a test represented much more. By choosing to second-guess the instructor, thereby violating political correctness, the students revealed to me their valid argument: Restraining your thoughts in the name of not offending others is a piss-poor way to muddle through life.\nTake, for example, all the cool Halloween costumes I’ve scratched from the list this year, all in the name being appropriate:\n• Presidential candidate John Edwards: While this is seemingly a safe costume, negative reaction would ensue from animal activists upset with the amount of endangered lemurs I’d need to skin to fashion an appropriate wig.\n• Flamboyant Dumbledore: It would probably be taken as a joke by most, but the other nerd at the party dressed as flamboyant Gandalf would be offended that I stole his thunder and copied his lisp.\n• Straight Larry Craig: Although it would be pretty easy to pull this off, I’d likely get a scathing reprimand from my priest in the Catholic Church for lying so blatantly. \nIf you’re in my boat, questioning your Halloween outfit in the face of political correctness, take a cue from the students who advocated, so boldly, to disregard the frivolous rules of appropriateness which define our society.\nHappy over-analyzed Halloween!