The science behind rejection

The one thing that humans seem to have in common is the fear of rejection. Regardless of ethnicity and culture, most human beings cannot take it. Before learning the science of rejection, I had not considered why it is that rejection is feared. Modern science shows us that rejection sends the same exact pain signal to the brain that a physical blow does. That, my friend, is why it hurts.\nYou see, the fear of rejection has evolutionary implications. Tens of thousands of years ago, social scientists believe, man lived in clans of roughly 30 to 50 people. At that time, life was a daily struggle. One wrong move could mean certain death for yourself and your family. \nIn those times, any sort of rejection was incredibly dangerous. Therefore, our bodies evolved to send us these sharp pain signals. These sharp pain signals, however, no longer serve any useful purpose.\nIf only it was that easy. Although knowing this information may help reduce the fear of rejection, it goes far from solving the issue. The only known cure for rejection is becoming desensitized. Unfortunately, the only way to become desensitized (or close to it) is to be rejected time and time again. We are talking about thousands of times, at least.\nNinety-nine percent of the population tries to ignore this issue. People put it into a dark corner in rooms that they never visit. Of course, that room is the same that holds the key to personal development and all major human advances. Considering this, it is important for us to figure out how to overcome this fear.\nI have been fortunate enough to be put into many different situations in which I was rejected. Such is the result of pushing the envelope and not taking “no” for an answer. The most significant experience occurred when I first entered the ticket industry. I didn’t enter the industry through an internship or office position. I entered the same way most successful ticket brokers do: on the streets. \nWhen I was 16, I decided to become a ticket scalper. I convinced my friend, Steve Higbee, to scalp with me. Together we stood outside of Verizon Wireless Music Center with a sign. As I stood with that sign, I started to feel a pain in my stomach. As one car after another drove by, I felt a taste of rejection. It didn’t taste good. Car after car passed by at a fast rate as I continued to feel worse and worse. Ten, 100, 1,000 cars passed. After an hour the rejection wasn’t as painful.\nLater that evening I started to feel better and better. I wasn’t necessarily happy about being rejected; I just didn’t care anymore. Being desensitized to rejection started to feel good. I was liberated.\nOne year later, when it was time to call up brokers to partner with my company, I no longer had the same fear. The lessons learned from the street were directly applied to the office business. I was the complete package: half gangster, half businessman. These lessons came to good use because the first 15 brokers I called rejected my offer. Some even shouted profanities. Number 16 was a different story.\nUnfortunately, the fear of rejection never fully goes away. The goal is to minimize it enough so that it doesn’t stop you from achieving your potential. When thinking about rejection, consider not only the negative feelings, but the doors that will open if you are able to overcome it. Take pride in every rejection because it brings you that much closer to the prize.