What you know about that?

Every year Beloit College puts out a “Mindset List” meant to identify how incoming college freshmen view the world. This is as an opportunity for old folks to nostalgically scoff at no-good whippersnappers. But are we really missing out on that much? Here are some samples from this year’s list:\n“1. What Berlin wall?” \nThe Berlin Wall has been nonexistent during a freshman’s lifetime. So? We’ve got new walls: Between Israel and Palestine, between America and Mexico and between the Magic Kingdom and EPCOT. We’re not strangers to wall-based oppression.\n“13. ‘Off the hook’ has never had anything to do with a telephone.” Phones had dials? Spiraled cords? Hooks? This is all too confusing. Why don’t we have hooks on phones anymore? They sucked. Did past generations bemoan the end of hand-churned butter? \n“28. They never found a prize in a Coca-Cola ‘MagiCan.’” Oh man, not only are we mourning technological advancement, but now we’re going to memorialize lame marketing gimmicks that don’t even warrant a 100-word entry in Wikipedia. \n“35. Stadiums, rock tours and sporting events have always had corporate names.” Wrigley Field, anyone? Wrigley Field was renamed after chewing gum entrepreneur William Wrigley in 1927, so everyone since then has lived with at least one stadium named after a corporate sponsor. Throughout the 20th century and before, corporate sponsorship has been regular, with Busch, Comiskey, Kauffman and others following in the years since.\n“44. The “Blue Man Group” has always been everywhere.” True. \n “55. MTV has never featured music videos.” This is false. MTV still shows music videos between 5 a.m. and 9 a.m., when no one could possibly watch them, between reruns of “Yo Momma” and “MTV Cribs.”\n“57. Jerry Springer has always been lowering the level of discourse on TV.” “Lowering?” Speak for yourself, Beloit College. We can stomach Springer’s outlandish theatrical debauchery far better than, say, slick greedy televangelism or celebrity profiles. Is there anything more poignant than Jerry’s Final Thoughts? Without Jerry Springer, there would be no “Jerry Springer: the Opera”!\n“59. They’re always texting 1 n other.” Get it? Kids and parents are so different these days! Kids today, with their “txting” on the phone! How will they ever communicate with their parents?\n“66. The World Wide Web has been an online tool since they were born.” Oh man, before our lifetimes, communication must have moved as fast as the best Pony Express rider, right? Were there carrier pigeons? \nYes, we understand the Beloit list represents an attempt to encapsulate the specific worldview of a generation. Still, it’s hard not to read the list as the groan of an older generation, standing on its lawn yelling at those pesky rascals not to trample it. Guess what? We don’t miss the MagiCan, the phone hook or the Berlin Wall. We wouldn’t mind some music videos, though.