Still can’t beat Federer? Send in the women!

American tennis has gotten a big boost this week as John Isner and Donald Young, two future stars (hopefully), have made significant noise at the U.S. Open. \nIsner, 22, and Young, 18, are both through to the third round where they will meet formidable opponents. Young will take on Feliciano Lopez, a veteran who he could beat if the stars and his strokes align just right.\nIsner isn’t so lucky. He’ll face Roger Federer, the world’s No. 1-ranked male since February 2004. Statistically, Isner has almost no chance of beating Federer. In fact, Federer hasn’t lost a match to an American since the summer of 2003, when Andy Roddick beat him at a Masters Series event in Montreal. What’s even worse is that no top American player has a winning record against him – or is even remotely close. \nAndre Agassi had the most luck. He went 3-8 against the Swiss before he retired at last year’s Open. Michael Chang, also retired, has the second best record against him, with one win and four losses. And at 1-13, Roddick rounds out the top three. Mardy Fish and James Blake, along with the soon-to-retire Justin Gimelstob and Todd Martin, now retired, have never won a match against him. Federer even got the better of my beloved Pete Sampras the only time they played, at Wimbledon in 2001. So combined, America’s brightest stars have gone 5-39 against Federer during his nine-year career. That’s depressing.\nThe United States Tennis Association has done everything it can to promote American tennis, from revamping neighborhood programs to turning the U.S. Open into the most-attended sports event in the country according to www.usopen.org (yes, it beats out the Super Bowl!). But it can’t seem to produce anything to compete with Roger Federer. I can’t blame the USTA, though, because neither can any other country – aside from Spain, the home of Federer’s most successful foil, Rafael Nadal.\nAfter all my sobering statistics, I wish I had a solution to propose. They could hire someone to corner Federer in a dark alley, but we all saw what happened to Tonya Harding (though it is rather ridiculous that Federer has been injury-free given the amount of tennis he plays and the level at which he plays it).\nThe only legal thing I can think of is sending in the Williams sisters. This might sound untraditional, but hear me out. Venus matches him in height and is close to his weight. She has a powerful serve and consistent strokes. And Serena might be shorter, but I’m pretty sure she could beat him in an arm wrestling contest (have you seen her biceps?!). \nThe Williams sisters taking on Federer could be like a rematch of the 1973 Billie Jean King v. Bobby Riggs match, a true tennis battle of the sexes. Even if they couldn’t replicate Billie Jean’s win, it would draw a crowd, and they might come closer than any American man has lately.