Kanye West vs. 50 Cent: Both rappers will release new albums Sept. 11. Fiddy said if Kanye outsells him, he will quit the rap game, and Kanye challenged 50 to a live, presidental-style debate.
"America's Got Talent": According to the voting public, Terry Fator, a grown man who performs with puppets, is the most talented man in America. The ventriloquist beat out singer-musician Cas Haley and is headed for Vegas to delight crowds of hookers and families alike with his lounge act.
"American Gladiators": The classic show featuring bronzed beefcakes and buxom beauties facing off against pathetically average joes in athletic competitions is returning to NBC this fall. Break out the 'roids and apply to be on the show right now.
Dark Carnival Film Festival: The festival and the Dance Party Massacre were a delightful bloodbath. Although, for all the build up, we wish David Lee Roth had shown up.
Big Ten Network: The channel will launch Aug. 30. With the negotiations stalling, it appears the network will not be on Comcast by the date of its launch, meaning much of Big Ten country will not be able to watch the new channel.
Miss Teen South Carolina on U.S. education: "I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uh, some, uh ... people out there in our nation don't have maps, and, uh, I believe that our education like such as in South Africa and, uh, the Iraq everywhere like, such as and ... I believe that they should, our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S., err, uh, should help South Africa and should help the Iraq and the Asian countries, so we will be able to build up our future for our children"
