Gay, straight or different?

Earlier this year, Lifetime broadcast “Gay, Straight, or Taken,” a reality dating show. One woman spent time with three men: one straight and single, one gay and in a relationship, and one straight and in a relationship. After participating in various activities that the audience might consider typically “masculine” or “feminine,” the female contestant had to guess which man was straight and single.\nIt’s a catchy premise, with many problems with perpetuation of stereotypes and restricted gender roles. But who am I to criticize? I play the game every day!\nI see boys strut around campus with a little extra swish in their hips and I think “Work it, girl!” Or I see a guy glance over at me a few too many times while he’s on a “date” with a girlfriend, and I want to go whisper, “Honey, your boyfriend is gay! He just doesn’t fully know it, yet.” Then there are the guys who over-perform their masculinity and everything about them screams “tough guy” – screams so loudly, in fact, that I wonder what supposedly “un-manly” feelings or desires they’re hiding beneath that overly-macho exterior.\nAs I play the game around campus, I realize I’m implicitly endorsing many of the stereotypes of sexuality and gender that I often criticize – although I have to boast that a personal, unscientific analysis of my Gaydar revealed 98 percent accuracy. I certainly don’t wish to promote the idea that sexuality and gender have such clear lines and obvious characteristics – quite the opposite. So before you go tell your friends, “I think my roommate is gay; he listens to Broadway musicals every night!” keep reading.\n“Gay, Straight, or Taken: IU Edition” is more exciting at the beginning of the semester when so many incoming students are away from home for the first time and have the opportunity to express themselves in new ways. Suddenly parents, friends, teammates, and others who might not have been so forgiving or understanding of new identity expressions no longer exert the same influence over us. We can give ourselves permission to try new personas and performances. We are less confined by the expectations of familiar people or by the often rigid group labels and boundaries of high school.\nThat’s not to say branching out and expressing yourself in new ways is easy, but what better time to try? New people, new connections, new friends. Why not reveal some of those feelings and identities you’ve learned to suppress and keep under wrap? Use this school year to cross some personal boundaries you’ve previously followed. I’m not just talking about sexuality – take the opportunity to express, own and be proud of those formerly hidden characteristics that make you tick, even if they defy convention or the “norm.”\nBy the end of every episode of “Gay, Straight, or Taken” the viewers had reason to believe each guy could fit into any of those categories – all the traditional roles and expectations become wooly. It would be great to achieve that here; I say the blurrier the better.