Color me unimpressed

Few know the story of Alan Conway, a man who failed at life and decided to go around London claiming he was director Stanley Kubrick during the early '90s. Kubrick, notoriously private in his late years, never did interviews nor did anyone truly know what he looked like, making it that much easier for Conway, or anyone really, to claim he was the legendary filmmaker.\n"Color Me Kubrick" revolves around Conway's (unfortunately played by John Malkovich) con-man schemes throughout England as he meets one person after another, promising them fame and success in his next feature, all the while trying to pick up any man he can at the local gay bars. Unfortunately for Conway, the more people he cons, the bigger the mob that is hunting him down around town gets. \nSave for some great jokes (many of which are only funny if you know a lot of trivia/random facts about Kubrick) and the usage of music from numerous Kubrick films, "Color Me Kubrick" is disastrous. Malkovich is terrible; I can't recall many films I liked him in, and his bouncing between British and New York accents gets annoying fast while being terribly exaggerated (also fueling the common mistake of those who thought Kubrick was British when, in fact, he was from New York and moved to England in the 1960s). We never really are given the explanation behind why Conway did what he did; the film simply picks up with him walking into bars and saying he is Kubrick.\nThe film is directed by Brian W. Cook (a former assistant director to Kubrick) and penned by Anthony Frewin (Kubrick's personal assistant), both of whom certainly had a great idea to work with but miss the mark almost entirely. Kubrick himself was informed shortly before Conway's arrest that a man was running around London claiming to be him and the idea fascinated Kubrick; one could be sure that had Kubrick made a film out of this story, it would've been brilliant, but "Eyes Wide Shut" was certainly a triumphant end of a career. \nThe only extra is a 45-minute documentary, "Being Alan Conway," a slow, uninspired making-of that accomplishes nothing. In fact, after 20 minutes, I was so bored I just turned it off as I got sick of listening to Malkovich ramble on about his acting style. \n"Being John Malkovich" is a good movie -- I'd recommend you watch that instead of "Color Me Kubrick," as it should've been titled: "John Malkovich Being Alan Conway Being Stanley Kubrick Being John Malkovich"