Music is the universal language that brings us all together. Virtually every social situation from birthday party to subpoena serving could benefit from a mix of sweet jams. Your hospitalized friend can experience the healing power of music through a "Get Well Soon Mix" with songs like "Knockin' on Heavin's Door" by Eric Clapton, "Live and Let Die" by Paul McCartney and Queen's "Another One Bites The Dust." We compiled five musical mixes for five life situations you're bound to encounter.
Gettin' It on Mix\nIf you don't want your roommate to hear you having sex and you want to set the right mood, it's essential to have a playlist just for sweet lovin'. This mix is sexier than Chris Farley as a Chippendale dancer.
1. "Oompa Loompa" -- Willy Wonka Soundtrack\nNothing gets your lover hotter than the image of petite orange men singing "Ooompa Loompa doopity doo. I've got another present for you."\n2. "The Song that Never Ends" -- Shari Lewis and her puppet friends. Put this one on a loop.\n3. "Why does it Hurt When I Pee?" -- Frank Zappa\nIt's got a good beat and the soothing, suave voice of Ike Willis, and hearing "My balls feel like a pair of maracas" is perfect for setting the mood.\n4. "I Get Around" -- Beach Boys \n5. Family Matters theme song\nJaleel White may have grown into a stud, but this theme song just makes us think of Urkel snorting. Hot.\n6. "One of Us" -- Joan Osbourne \n"What if God was one of us? Just a slob like one of us. Just a stranger on the bus trying to make his way home." \n7. "Baby Beluga" -- Raffi\nIt seems like the least sexy song ever, but with a line like, "See the water squirting out of your spout," who knows what could happen?\n8. "O Come All Ye Faithful"
Wedding Mix\n Grandpa Joe will nod his head for a few of these, but the bride will cry … guaranteed.
1. "Sound of Settling" -- Death Cab for Cutie\n2. "November Rain" -- Guns N' Roses\n"Nothing lasts forever in the cold November rain."\n3. "Nookie" -- Limp Bizkit \n"So you can take that cookie and stick it up your woo."\n4. "Me and My Bitch" -- The Notorious B.I.G. \nYou could practically put this one in your vows. "Would you kill for me?"\n5. "Babe I'm Gonna Leave You" -- Led Zeppelin \nSpring is wedding season, so the line "I'm gonna leave you when the summer comes a--rolling" will hit especially hard.\n6. "Divorce Song" -- Liz Phair\n7. "Cry Me a River" -- Justin Timberlake \nYeah, we know we made this joke twice this issue. Next time we'll bring sexy back.\n8. "Highway to Hell" -- AC/DC
Workout Mix\nIt's easier to get in shape if you have music. In the words of Kanye West, all them mocha lattes, you gotta do Pilates. You gotta pop this tape in before you start back dating hustlers, gangstas, all us ballas.
1. "My Heart Will Go On" -- Celine Dion\nJust imagining Leonardo DiCaprio sinking into the ocean will make you burn more calories.\n2. Anything by Enya\n3. "I Will Always Love You" -- Whitney Houston\n4. "Ave Maria" -- Franz Schubert\n5. Audio recording of Mark Foley e--mails to young page\n6. "We are the World" -- Michael Jackson\n7. U.S. National Anthem\n8. Bagel Bites jingle\n"Pizza in the morning, Pizza in the evening, Pizza at suppertime. When pizza's on a bagel -- you can eat it anytime!"
Significant other's parents mix\nSo it's time to meet the parents. Why not share your musical taste and send some not--so--subliminal messages, too?
1. "Stacey's Mom" -- Fountains of Wayne\n"I know it might be wrong, but I'm in love with Stacey's mom."\n2. "Put It in Your Mouth" -- Akinyele \nIt's too vulgar to even quote here.\n3. "Ms. Jackson" -- Outkast \n4. "Water" -- The Who \n"We need water … or maybe somebody's daughter."\n5. "Cop Killa" by Ice--T\n6. "Blowjob Betty" -- Too Short\n7. "Let's Get Physical" -- Olivia Newton John\n8. "Me so Horny" -- 2 Live Crew\n"Me love you long time"
Baby Shower mix\nForget the diapers and the stork--shaped cookies, mother and fetus alike will enjoy this tribute to the miracle of life.
1. "My Baby Daddy" -- B Rock and The Bizz \n"Who dat is? That's just my baby daddy."\n2. "Oops … I did it Again" -- Britney Spears\nPerfect for when things get a little too "7th Heaven."\n3. "All That She Wants" -- Ace of Base\nOne of Sweden's finest exports says it all. "All that she wants is another baby."\n 4. "John Wayne Gacy, Jr." -- Sufjan Stevens\nA song about the murderer who killed young boys will be perfect for the expecting mother.\n5. "Kids with Guns" -- Gorillaz\nAn anthem to the Second Amendment.\n6. "Ice Ice Baby" -- Vanilla Ice\nThis one is about babies, right?\n7. "Have You Seen My Baby?" -- Randy Newman\nThey're hard to keep track of.\n8. "Last Kiss" -- Pearl Jam\n"Oh where oh where can my baby be"
