Chiefin'

The University of Illinois ended the reign of its mascot Chief Illiniwek, and, to many fans, an integral part of its sporting experience. The removal of the Chief will allow the university to host postseason sporting events, something it has been banned from doing by the NCAA since 2005 because of the Chief’s presence and his inaccurate portrayal of American Indians. Illiniwek danced his last dance at Illinois’ men’s basketball home victory over Michigan on Wednesday, ending a tradition that spanned more than 80 years. Illinois will retain the nickname Fighting Illini. \nWe get it. Political correctness is important, especially on a national level and at a time when an inappropriate representation could reach thousands of people. It is unfair to the American Indian population of Illinois and the United States. \nBut more importantly, if Chief Illiniwek has been fired as the mascot of Illinois, does that mean he’s a free agent? We aren’t sure if everyone else has noticed, but IU doesn’t have a mascot!\nSomebody talk to Kelvin Sampson. Whip out that cell phone and start texting the Chief like crazy! You think getting Eric Gordon was big? It will be nothing compared to fan reaction to the Chief. Get coach Hoeppner to point that “We want you” finger at the Chief and his garb. The editorial board is considering calling Illiniwek every hour, on the hour, until he sees that cream and crimson are a better combination than orange and blue any day. It doesn’t matter how it happens. Just get that dancin’ man into our Assembly Hall.\nIf the Chief refuses to come over to the Indiana, could we at least get any mascot? The eerie emptiness of animals and people in ridiculous looking outfits along the sidelines of Assembly Hall and Memorial Stadium is becoming disheartening. Satellite campuses of IUB have mascots. IU-Purdue University at Indianapolis, for example, have the Jaguars. It’s high time we had a image to go with “Hoosiers.” We have a few suggestions.\nFor starters, how about a Gene Hackman look-a-like. He led Hickory High School to the state championship in the classic movie “Hoosiers” (based on the amazing run by Milan High School in 1954). It seems like he may get the crowd fired up.\nOr maybe we could get a big ear of corn. Nothing incites fear into opposing squads like Orville Redenbacher’s capitalist gold mine. Know that saying “You’re walking like you have a corn cob up your butt?” Well when you come to IU, we’ll make sure you leave walking funny.\nBut our greatest idea captures the single most memorable event in IU sports history, with all of the rage that comes with being a Hoosier: a giant aluminum chair. Every time the referee makes a bad call, the chair mascot can run into the middle of the court or field and fall on its side, planting itself there in protest.\nHowever, the best bet is to keep calling Chief Illiniwek. We’re already good at stealing players from Illinois. Why not their traditions too?