51 percent right

A year ago I believed I was right about 80 percent of the time. That’s not even a B average. But something happened and I lost my confidence: I read the book “How to Win Friends & Influence People,” Dale Carnegie’s winsome overview of the human psyche. When Theodore Roosevelt was in the White House, he confessed if he could be right only 75 percent of the time, he would have reached the highest measure of his expectation. \nIf one of the most distinguished men of the 20th century hoped himself to be right less than 75 percent of the time, who am I to assume such accuracy? Carnegie offered an interesting perspective: If he were right even 51 percent of the time, he could make millions on Wall Street. \nIf that’s all it would take, why do I so often assert that others are wrong? Well, I don’t like to be wrong – in fact, I love to be right. And if I am wrong, I surely don’t want anyone to know about it. \nJust last week, my girlfriend and I had an argument about the number of minutes in a college basketball game. I knew the game was made up of two, 20-minute halves. I told her she was wrong and that “I was going to prove it to her.” I hollered into the other room and asked my roommate how many minutes were in a college basketball game. She, of course, didn’t appreciate my phenomenal brilliance. \nIf I hate to be wrong, it’s safe to assume she probably hates to be wrong. Saying that “I’m going to prove it to you” did little more than insult her intelligence. \nThe Greek philosopher Socrates understood that “One thing only I know, and that is that I know nothing.” I can’t hope to be any smarter than Socrates, so I have to quit telling people they are wrong.\nSo I’ve made a commitment to follow Carnegie’s advice. When I enter into a controversy, even when I’m pretty sure I’m right, I’ll start with the phrase “I may be wrong. I frequently am. And if I am wrong, I want to be put right. Let’s examine the facts.” \nWho could be mad at someone who takes that humble approach? I have nothing to gain (and plenty to lose) by asserting my “superior knowledge.” And even if I happen to be right this time, I’ve gained nothing but ill will and bitter feelings.\nSo, are we right 51 percent of the time? Not even close. But who’s keeping track? I’ve learned the most important thing is not to focus on who is right, but to find the truth. So next time, I’ll put my pride on the back burner and choose my words a little more carefully.