When Amanda Shettlesworth sent the School of Public and Environment Affairs' students a mass e-mail last spring describing a competitive internship opportunity, she got an unlikely reply -- from a student's mother. \n"She called me up and asked that her son be given a leg up in the process," Shettlesworth said. Confused by the mother's involvement, Shettlesworth, an assistant director in SPEA's career-services office, said she couldn't do anything to help.\n"This is your son's responsibility," she told the mother, "and hopefully he will write the essay well and apply."\nBut the mother fought back, arguing that the school should help him get ahead.\n"It's almost like she didn't hear me at all," Shettlesworth said. Some say her situation underscores a growing trend across the country.
An upward trend\nIn what's been called the age of the "helicopter parents" -- those who hover over their children's lives -- school officials say parents are becoming increasingly involved in their children's career searches, doing everything from writing students' resumes to accompanying them at career fairs.\n"There definitely is more involvement of parents than there was 20 years ago," said Amy Hume, associate director of IU's Career Development Center. While Hume said her staff only receives about about four parent phone calls per year, she said a parent's influence is seen daily in student interactions. \n"They're not physically here, they're not contacting us, but the student brings them into the counseling session," Hume said. "And that happens a lot."\nShe said parents tell students which jobs are acceptable or relate their own expectations to their child, creating a sense of pressure that could undermine a student's confidence. \nJulian Parrott, an administrator at the University of Illinois who studies the issue, said he has even heard of parents accompanying their children to job interviews, scheduling their appointments with employers and attempting to negotiate salaries with the hiring companies. \nParrott, who recently gave a presentation titled "Grounding the Helicopters" at a National Academic Advising Association conference in Indianapolis, said the issue is gaining momentum. \n"It's happening everywhere," he said. "It really is sort of pushing this state of dependency deep into somebody's 20s."\nNot that it should be any surprise, career advisers say, because the current generation of students has relied on parents from the youngest ages. \nMany students had structured childhoods, Hume said, with parents who signed them up for camps or classes, instead of letting them play on their own. Parrott said today's generation expects parents to be involved.
'It's a Catch-22'\nMelanie Graves, mother of freshman Marli Haddan, said she's called the IU Health Center for her daughter and even tried to join her during class scheduling. But Graves doesn't think she is too involved. \n"She wants me, but she doesn't," she said. "It's a Catch-22."\nWith such a high level of attachment, Parrott said it's unrealistic to expect parents to suddenly cut their involvement with students once they enter college. \nBut Ray Clere, who oversees SPEA's career office, said that kind of dependence is problematic, especially as students enter the job market. \n"I think they (parents) have the (students') best interest at heart, but I have a real concern about students being self-sufficient," he said. "At what point do you cut the string?" \nAt IU, career counselors contend the trend of such helicopter parents is far from the norm. Still, some departments are taking precautions to keep parents at bay. \nIn the Kelley School of Business, the Undergraduate Career Services Office has added a parents' page to the Web site that lists frequently asked questions and gives a timetable that shows a student's career path. It's much the same at the Career Development Center, which also added a page for parents and offers ways they can help their children at a safe distance. \nOfficials at both centers say the sites are working, resulting in fewer parent calls to the office and a better understanding of the career process. \n"Other schools are seeing the hovering of parents even more," said Mark J. Brostoff, assistant director of the Kelley school's Undergraduate Career Services Office. "We've been proactive and it makes a difference."
Businesses cater to parents \nSome employers are addressing the issue too, recognizing that parents are intrinsically part of the process. \nAt car rental chain Enterprise Rent-A-Car, which recruits at IU annually, new hires are given the option of having an orientation packet sent to parents, said Marie Artim, assistant vice president for recruiting. \nIt includes an overview of the company, statistics on its operations, a letter from the company's vice president and a job description. \n"We find most of the time that new grads are asking that we send it to their parents," Artim said. "College students today seem to really want their parents' involvement and interaction. They look to them for advice." \nAs such, Hume cautioned school officials against criticizing the student's desire for parental help, acknowledging that each student has different needs. \n"The challenge in counseling is to not impose any values on that student," she said. "If I'm working with a student and they want to run every idea we give them (by their parents), it's not my place at all to tell them to be more independent."\nParrott added that students also perform better when they know they have supportive parents at home who care about what they are doing. \nYet he said an overly supportive network could turn negative, stymieing students' communication skills or their ability to handle difficult situations. \n"Parents are obviously well-intentioned," he said, "but are actually causing the students some problems"
