Donkeys in Iraq

"I warned you about Bush. He is evil, far worse than we thought. George Bush might go down is history as the meanest yuppie who ever lived. He is once again the front-runner in the '88 presidential race." --Hunter S. Thompson \nOne of the activities I look forward to on a daily basis (other than attempting to guess Colin Dugdale's sexual preference) is watching the spectacle known as George Bush's War on Common Sense. \nDon't get me wrong: I have no vendetta against Bush, and I certainly don't hold the negative opinion of our current president that Thompson held for "Dubya's" father. \nBut as the old adage goes: The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Daddy Bush was a slick politician, and all indications point to the Fortunate Son being just as slick. They were both pilots who served our country (in theory), they both have an unhealthy fascination with Saddam Hussein and they both abhor a vegetable or a fruit -- the elder hating broccoli and the younger hating Clay Aiken. The only way the two differ is that one became a loser after four years in office. The other lost his bid for re-election.\nWe are engaged in a war, the outcome of which will determine how many countries will no longer honor travel visas from the United States. You might know this as the War on Terror, but the more appropriate term is the War on Common Sense. \nThe other day I sat down with both men. Here's what they had to say:\nMe: Thank you for your time, sirs.\nElder: Yep, glad to do it.\nYounger: Haven't seen you in a while. How's India? Joking ... I know it's Indiana.\nMe: Uh, good. It's good. A question for you both -- Saddam Hussein is dead. Is the world a safer place?\nElder: I feel safer. That nasty man tried to assassinate me. \nYounger: You bet it's safer! Did you know that evildoer tried to kill my daddy? \nMe: Really? Hadn't heard that.\nYounger: It's true. Saddam Hussein? More like Saddam Insane!\nMe: Yes, insane indeed. Let's talk about your recent decision to increase troop numbers in Iraq. Do you really think that 21,500 more troops are necessary? \nElder: I think you interpreted that wrong.\nYounger: Yeah, don't misunderestimate me. I didn't say 21,500 troops. I said trips. I'm suggesting we send every Democrat in any elected position in the country on a "fact-finding trip" to Iraq. \nMe: Every single one? \nYounger: Yup. Every one -- from Nancy Pelosi to your local county commissioner. If they're a donkey, they get a free trip to Iraq. \nMe: What will that accomplish?\nYounger: Donkeys are good for the Middle East. I don't know if you realize this, but Jesus rode a donkey into Jerusalem. Elephants aren't cut out for that region.\nElder: Yup, it's true.\nMe: That logic defies common sense.\nYounger: We're in a war. Common sense doesn't matter, only victory.\nElder: True -- common sense has no place in war.