Crossbow back

We could all learn a lesson from Justin Timberlake.\nHe showed a lot of initiative when he brought sexy back. He recognized a sexy-shaped void in our world and filled it. \nMaybe it's time for each of us to bring something back. But first we have to consider the consequences. You can't just bring stuff back willy-nilly. For example, bringing people back from the dead always seems like a good idea until zombies are trying to eat your flesh. \nOriginally JT was going to sing, "I'm bringing zombies back/So run away because they will attack," but that was too dangerous. Sexy was actually a less un-dead alternative that ultimately trumped flesh-eating monsters for song-lyric material.\nPop stars aren't the only people with the power to resurrect stuff. I have a list of things I want to bring back. First on my list was sexy, but clearly that's already back. \nThe next obvious choice on the list is dinosaurs. But once again we must consider the consequences of bringing something back. Yes, I've seen "Jurassic Park." Using prehistoric DNA to clone dinosaurs might be a bad idea. The fact that the dinosaurs would eventually run amuck and start killing people is only a surface problem. \nThe film never addressed the real social problem of dinosaur discrimination. I don't think our society is in a very dinosaur-tolerant place. T-Rexes and stegosauruses, with their giant tales and people-crushing capacity, would likely be treated as third-class citizens. Spielberg merely perpetuated this attitude by banishing the beasts to that island ghetto.\nSo dinos are out. \nIf I can't bring back my own fleet of pterodactyls, I'd like to bring back my favorite form of medieval weaponry. No, not the pike or the mace. I would bring back the crossbow. I'm not talking about any ordinary crossbow. I'd like to see flaming arrows make a comeback.\nThe noble archer stands outside the castle wall, near the mote. Orange flames leap in front of him as he angles his arms upward and aims just beyond the battlements with the hope of starting a fire. \nWhy don't we see that anymore?\nI know crossbows aren't completely obsolete. They can be used in archery, hunting and whale research. Those uses include ordinary, nonflaming arrows. I want fire and lots of it. The drama of firing a crossbow can only truly be accentuated by the pageantry of fire. Bringing flaming crossbows back means expanding their use beyond the hobbies of a humble archer and into the public realms of schools, parks and Starbucks.\nThere's a long list of reasons why everyone should have a flaming crossbow: fun, recreation, stress relief, fire, warring kingdoms, self-defense, whale research, fire, the Black Knight, ex-boyfriends and fire. \nSome naysayers (who are no friends to the flaming crossbow) might frown upon the potential fire hazard and the general danger of unskilled marksmen with lethal weapons wandering around your local Wal-Mart.\nHey, everything comes with some amount of danger, even sexy. It's worth the risk. Besides, you can't have sexy without flaming crossbows.