Diddy diddy diddy diddy

Somebody kill me. Or, instead, kill the man who made me cop Diddy's newest, digest it and then vomit this your way.\nThe new 80s music resurgence, marked by extravagant layers and hair band samples, isn't enough to buoy an overrated emcee. \nBeats circling around, drilling down overlaid with horns splashing around overtop -- the formula for success for Justin Timberlake -- explodes like a North Korean A-bomb in Diddy's hands.\nPress Play, self-polished harder and more often than Hasselhoff waxed his K.I.T.T., survives against Diddy's best efforts. Kanye West, Timbaland and Cee-Lo (of Gnarls Barkley fame) shout down some terrible metaphors and boasts for some chill songs. But chillin' to Diddy often takes a special talent I lack: Ignoring the parts he fields alone.\nTimbaland's brilliant borrows from dance-techno pepper the album, continuing to make him the hottest producer of 2006. (And he should remain there until Clipse drops their second album before the year ends.)\nSo, if you must foray into this album, turn the base up to Spinal Tap levels. Be sure to uncheck Diddy's solo efforts in iTunes. Peep the Twista, Big Boi and Nas laced tracks. The beats really might just make some of them tolerable... \n"America, lay back, you can't stop me," he proclaims on the laughable "The Future." This album will surely sell stateside, but, still, I hope he's wrong. Either way, another Diddy album is unlikely, he told interviewers while promoting this steaming pile. \nSo, all will again be right with the world, should I survive hearing singles from Press Play at Kilroy's Sports until I graduate. Maybe they'll read this and just throw on the instrumentals. Please...